[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
[Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]
[IP] Re: Doing too much for my son
At 9:30 AM -0600 6/24/00, Lori Kissick wrote:
>weighing food etc. so I can imagine how he would feel if he was
>doing it all. Any way I am going on and on do I do too much should
>I be doing less for him and make him remember to do these things.
>Any comments would be appreciated. Thank you Lori
I'm the diabetic one in the family, but I wanted to comment on your
question--not because I have any hard and fast answers, but because I
think it's such an important question for parents and I've often
wondered about it.
I was 15 when I was diagnosed, so I started out doing the majority of
the DM management for myself, but I certainly didn't do anywhere near
the job I probably should have done. I also have an 11-year-old son,
and I, like you, can't imagine making him do all the DM stuff that I
have to do for himself.
I really wondered about this question of when a DM child should start
to do things for him or herself when one of the nurse-practioners at
my high-risk ob.'s office mentioned the problems that they were
having with a patient. The patient was about 20, married, pregnant,
and having immense trouble with her bgs. As was the usual practice in
that office, a n-p would call this woman every 2-3 days, take down
her bgs, consult with the doc, then call her back with any changes in
dosages, etc. The n-p felt that part of the problem was that they
would always talk to this woman on the phone, but it was her mother
who was still doing a great deal of the woman's DM management. (The
nurse-practioners knew this because the patient ended up in the
hospital a couple of times to get back in control.)
It just started me thinking--when *would* you "hand over the reins,"
so to speak? I know from my own experience that there's likely to be
at least an initial decline in good control as the
child/teen/whatever gets used to doing things--and figuring out *why*
you need to do these things. But it does make sense that, at some
point, kids have to learn to do it for themselves. And my feeling is
that it's often an uneasy and difficult process for parents.
But a child psychologist friend of ours once told me that if a child
wasn't doing his or her homework, you needed to back off and let the
kid either do it, or face the consequences of not doing it--even if
that meant flunking a class. Yikes! So far, Logan does his homework
without too much prodding, and I'm not sure I could back off that
much. And with DM, we're talking about life-threatening stuff, not
just a failed class.
FWIW, I don't think you're doing too much for Ryan, and you're
probably ahead of the game because you're thinking about this issue
early. Thanks for letting me ruminate!
email @ redacted
Type 1 diabetes since 1/31/73, pumping on a D. since 10/3/95.
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml