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Re: [IP] Re: Doing too much for my son



That's a thoughtful question, Lori.

I wonder if you sat down with him and had him help you work out a plan for how
and when you could be most helpful to him.  But, you would have to:

1). Have really clear criteria about when you do what or don't do what -- this
requires writing out the guidelines and situation testing them WITH HIM.

2).  Make him feel smart and valued and comfortable when he admits that he would
like more than he asked for.  It also means that after you do whatever
additional thing he asks for, that you inquire whether he wants to adjust the
guidelines or just call it an exception.

I suspect that as long as he feels helped, supported and free/responsible for
himself he will make much better decisions.  11 is an age where those issues
really come up -- I used to teach 7th & 8th grade.

Good luck,

Ruth

Lori Kissick wrote:

> Hi list I have not posted in a long time just been going along on our own
> without the doctors. Anyway I am still here reading all the time. Ryan has
> been lately not testing unless I tell him to and he forgets to bolus.Then he
> went golfing and had a low and had nothing with him because mom was not
> there who allways has something for lows. Any way the thing is I got the
> comment that if I did not do everything for him he would remember to do it
> himself. I was told I do too much it is time he learnt how. He is 11 yrs old
> and he does know how because he has done great when I am not around so he is
> capable. I just figure he has the rest of his life to do this so I will help
> out now while he is at home to take some of the burden because I even get
> sick and tired of telling him to test and to bolus and weighing food etc. so
> I can imagine how he would feel if he was doing it all. Any way I am going
> on and on  do I do too much should I be doing less for him and  make him
> remember to do these things.
> Any comments would be appreciated. Thank you  Lori
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