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[IP] crystal's cheesecake
> I want to grab a piece of Cheesecake, and there are really bad days when
> I do, and regret the act when I am sittingin my restroom on the floor
> moaning from being so dehydrated.
No no no Crystal!!! IT is not a BAD day! It is a GOOD day! You can eat
all the damn chhesecake you want! You just have to know how much to bolus
for it! That is the whole POINT of using the pump!!!
17 years isn't enough! you are going to live to be 70 or 80 years old...Then
you, like Buddy and Yerachmiel can say you've had it 50 years or more and
maybe JUST maybe, that will be enough, and you will say it AS YOU EAT another
This next part is WAY blasphemous, so either skip it, or just accept it as
my personal belief and dont get all upset. BAD is a word invented by an
uncaring, dictatorial "god," and by the men who interpreted what they thought
was his "word" when they wrote the bible. They had to create bad and evil
and the devil, otherwise how would we stupid, blind humans understand how
"good" god was? Hopefully whatever god you believe in is a loving, caring
one who would never do anything BAD. or create anything BAD.
This word "BAD" has been picked up by our parents and our doctors and
teachers and all our lives we are told we are BAD when we choose to do
something those particular authority figures decide is less than positive
choices! My doctor told me it was BAD to eat vanilla wafers for breakfast...
despite the fact that 6 of them are on the ADA exchange diet as EQUAL to a
slice of bread...and they have less fat than I would be adding if I made the
> I do realize that is where I must place the blame, but it doesn't make me
any less angry.
Because you can't blame yourself and expect to feel any better! Don't take
blame! Take the credit. It isn't the PUMP that is making your A1Cs better -
> This disease has started to suck
I missed the part where it didn't suck...just ignoring diabetes and not taking
of onesself doesn't make it suck any less ya know ;-)
> It feels like a burden and I keep asking God why it is there? And if it
> is there to make me stronger why am I so weak?
You are NOT weak and you are NOT bad. You need to re-evaluate your
priorities and find strength in your beliefs...NOT weakness.
I know you havent given up...we can all relate to wendy and sue and Debbie
and Rod and Janine and Renee and Melissa and Buddy and Megan and Lily and
Darrin and...on and on. We don't feel "sorry" for them. We can empathize
and understand and that's all ANY of us really want! I don't think by my
venting about my F&^!@^&!ing eyes that Mary Jean is going to be able to "DO"
anything about it, but I know she understands a little - not necessarily cuz
she has any retinopathy, but cuz she can empathize.
> I don't want to ever take my own life,
Then don't let anyone or any "thing" else take it either!!
> I do get the "guilties" for being the selfish person who wishes to be rid of
condition I was plagued with
JOIN THE CLUB kiddo! "Guilt" is another word invented by them folks that
> before I knew the real meaning of life
Do ya know now? Can you fill me in, cuz I sure haven't found the answer.
> I am not coming across as this woman who hates life
NAHHHH - you sound HUMAN and that is TOTALLY cool and completely expected.
Believe me, many of us have been in your exact Nikes, at college, with boys
and beers and classes and binges...and diabetes. so PLEASE, continue to vent.
We know you love life despite the potholes...now all we need is a city hall
that can fix these BIG ones...and maybe that is where JDF comes in???
Kick Ass on your report!!
Sara - who still can't see S**T but who loves this group anyway
Insulin-Pumpers website http://www.bizsystems.com/Diabetes/
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