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Re: [IP] how i became a pessimist: a tale

oh boy do I feel like you've been inside my head. When diagnosed as type1 in
1976 I was told the cure was just down the road maybe as much as 5 years
away. Well its been one very long rough five years.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: <email @ redacted>
To: <email @ redacted>
Sent: Tuesday, July 08, 2003 1:00 PM
Subject: [IP] how i became a pessimist: a tale

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> ya know, I was always one of those bright-eyed, eager, positive-energied
>  little diabetics....Even as a kid when I didn't test, and ate as I
pleased, I'd
> go
> door to door collecting donations for the walkathons, telling people how
> were FIGHTING for a cure.  I drew a poster about diabetes for the Barbara
>  Davis Center in Denver when they first opened and WON a bike (and me
without an
> artistic bone in my body),  I wantonly threw myself through college with
> the food and alcohol, SURE that there was gonna be a cure "someday" - they
> PROMISED one...it seemed like such a simple idea.....someday was just
> the corner.  one day i would wake up and there would be a story in the
>  about the first cured diabetic and then in a few years, i would be able
to sign
> up for whatever it was that cured it...
> then i got a pump
> then I got the bill for the pump, and the subsequent bills for all the
>  resevoirs and catheters and bard wipe and all the rest of it......and
> insurance
> paid for it
> and I thought...well, this pump thing is a nice "bandaid" til the REAL
>  comes along...cuz SURELY it will....and in the mean time I can take even
> care of myself and stretch my life out long enough that maybe I will still
> around for a cure if it comes...
> Then, 4 years later, my perfectly good pump was replaced by a newer
> model, and because my old one was out of warranty (although it had NEVER
>  malfunctiond), my health insurance paid for a new one....and again I
> thought...ok,
> this is fine...at least this one is black....this will hold me til the
>  comes....which i knew then was NOT just around the corner.....but still
felt it
> was on the horizon...a CURE, for ME.
> So, then last year, after 5 years of perfectly good functioning, (1 out of
>  warranty), they "tell" me I need a NEW pump....they vigorously try to get
me to
> buy the paradigm, but having read about all the troubles people were
>  experiencing, as well as my belief that it was rushed to market too soon,
> to
>  mention the fact that the proprietary reservoir/catheter idea is abhorent
to my
> American belief in competition, I insisted on the 508....
> I tell ya, it is because of the pump that I don't BELIEVE in a cure
>  anymore....Sure, it is nice to know that there are reseachers and doctors
> there
>  dedicated to looking for one, making little discoveries here and there to
> out to us; to "appease" our whimper (for it surely is not a cry) for a
> but the pitiful amount of money they spend on it leads me to the
> pessimistic as it is, that the big drug companies that run this country,
> much of the rest of the world (didn't a drug company FUND that new study
> lowers the ideal blood pressure from 120/70 to 110/60) are not idiots and
> certainly not driven to END diabetes.  They know a cash cow when they see
> and finding new and better and snazzier ways of "treating" diabetes is
> for their bottom line than directing MORE money to research!
> Pumps over the last 30 years have gotten smaller, lighter and more
> but they still do the same thing they always did.....The fact tht the
"bar" of
> what is considered "optimal control" has been raised aside, it STILL does
> same thing...it drips insulin into us in a sort of regular fashion, sort
>  mimicking hte way the body does it. And we are still gonna go out there
and buy
> the new and better and snazzier and purple-er thing cuz that is what we
> pardon ME for being pessimistic about the whole thing.  I don't think the
> gadget is any kind of a step towards a cure for diabetes...only another
> aid....
> Mooooooooooooo
> Sara
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