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[IP] how i became a pessimist: a tale

ya know, I was always one of those bright-eyed, eager, positive-energied 
 little diabetics....Even as a kid when I didn't test, and ate as I pleased, I'd
door to door collecting donations for the walkathons, telling people how they 
were FIGHTING for a cure.  I drew a poster about diabetes for the Barbara 
 Davis Center in Denver when they first opened and WON a bike (and me without an
artistic bone in my body),  I wantonly threw myself through college with all 
the food and alcohol, SURE that there was gonna be a cure "someday" - they had 
PROMISED one...it seemed like such a simple idea.....someday was just around 
the corner.  one day i would wake up and there would be a story in the paper 
 about the first cured diabetic and then in a few years, i would be able to sign
up for whatever it was that cured it...

then i got a pump

then I got the bill for the pump, and the subsequent bills for all the 
 resevoirs and catheters and bard wipe and all the rest of it......and then
paid for it

and I thought...well, this pump thing is a nice "bandaid" til the REAL cure 
 comes along...cuz SURELY it will....and in the mean time I can take even better
care of myself and stretch my life out long enough that maybe I will still be 
around for a cure if it comes...

Then, 4 years later, my perfectly good pump was replaced by a newer "better" 
model, and because my old one was out of warranty (although it had NEVER 
 malfunctiond), my health insurance paid for a new one....and again I
this is fine...at least this one is black....this will hold me til the cure 
 comes....which i knew then was NOT just around the corner.....but still felt it
was on the horizon...a CURE, for ME.

So, then last year, after 5 years of perfectly good functioning, (1 out of 
 warranty), they "tell" me I need a NEW pump....they vigorously try to get me to
buy the paradigm, but having read about all the troubles people were 
 experiencing, as well as my belief that it was rushed to market too soon, not
 mention the fact that the proprietary reservoir/catheter idea is abhorent to my
American belief in competition, I insisted on the 508....

I tell ya, it is because of the pump that I don't BELIEVE in a cure 
 anymore....Sure, it is nice to know that there are reseachers and doctors out
 dedicated to looking for one, making little discoveries here and there to throw
out to us; to "appease" our whimper (for it surely is not a cry) for a cure, 
but the pitiful amount of money they spend on it leads me to the conclusion, 
pessimistic as it is, that the big drug companies that run this country, and 
much of the rest of the world (didn't a drug company FUND that new study that 
lowers the ideal blood pressure from 120/70 to 110/60) are not idiots and are 
certainly not driven to END diabetes.  They know a cash cow when they see one, 
and finding new and better and snazzier ways of "treating" diabetes is better 
for their bottom line than directing MORE money to research!   

Pumps over the last 30 years have gotten smaller, lighter and more complex, 
but they still do the same thing they always did.....The fact tht the "bar" of 
what is considered "optimal control" has been raised aside, it STILL does the 
same thing...it drips insulin into us in a sort of regular fashion, sort of 
 mimicking hte way the body does it. And we are still gonna go out there and buy
the new and better and snazzier and purple-er thing cuz that is what we DO...

pardon ME for being pessimistic about the whole thing.  I don't think the new 
gadget is any kind of a step towards a cure for diabetes...only another band 


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