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[IP] What a day!!
Hi all! Wow, what a day! Kristina had a doctor appointment! I KNEW it wouldn't be a good one! She had sooo many high numbers and I just wasn't quick enough or vigilant enough or SOMETHING to do something earlier about it! Now she's got an A1c of 8.8... which this time last year, we'd have been THRILLED with... in fact we were!! But this time is is from soooooo many HI's that it's just shameful!! Man!! So we're under strict orders again and have to do monthly visits till we get her under control again!! I talked to her last night about how she just HAS to tell me when she eats and make sure I tell her how much insulin to have and that will be her part of getting back in control! So she's done REALLY well about not snacking today without telling me! But tonight, no matter what I did, she is STILL 325!!! I even put her Sil in a new site, way over on her side, in a place that's never had so much as a SHOT before! And she's still 325! Sheesh!
I just don't know what to do anymore! All of a sudden it's like she's not absorbing the insulin as well or her body isn't using it as well! I just don't get it! I thought the pump would solve problems like that! I thought she'd start using less insulin when she was on the pump! But today she got changed to 3 basal rates and increased her bolus ratio to 1:10! We've been really sticking to it, testing, making sure every morsel is accounted for today.... unless I REALLY miscalculated lunch, I just don't know why she's soooo high tonight!!! And she's been in the 300's all evening, dispite extra insulin for the high earlier tonight!!
Tonight is one of those nights when I really fantasize about a CURE!! Just cure this damned disease!! What a stress this is on our family! Sometimes it seems like our whole lives center around Kristina and Kristina is under ALOT of pressure! no... our lives center around DIABETES!!! and I hate it!! I hate what it does to all of us... the guilt that I feel, the pressure on Kristina, the feelings the other kids have of jealousy toward the attention (good or bad) that Kristina gets because of this awful disease! I HATE having to go to the doctor and 3 of the others wind up in big trouble cause they couldn't sit still long enough or behave long enough for me to talk to the doctor! If we hadn't had to be there in the first place, the youngest 3 wouldn't have been in trouble or even been expected to sit so still or be so quiet for something so important! uuuggghhh!! Somebody please find some islets that are safe for kids!! Oh man!!
Anyway... thanks for letting me vent! It's just been a heck of a day!
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