Re: [IP] Re: Clinitest
I'm responding to Jan's message, but frankly, find it almost inconceivable
that my message, which was simply that I felt that I wasn't legitimate, and
that I didn't have a *place* here, has been met with such contempt. I NEVER
imagined that I'd receive the sort of responses to that message that I've
received. And I'm not being hyper-sensitive; I'm being honest. I've had to
read and listen to a LOT over the past seven years since I've been a member of
this group, and a LOT of that holds little to no interest for me, particularly
the stories about "the way it was way back then," as all that I can think
about in response is how grateful I am that I wasn't diagnosed then and do not
have the complications that some of you do. But I wanted to address a few
things that Jan wrote:
>> Those who were dx'd back in the '20s when insulin was discovered would sure
have interesting stories to me as to what life was like. The Cleveland
brothers had DM for 75+ years. >>
Maybe to you that would be interesting; I don't care how long I've lived with
D, I would have very little interest in hearing how the Cleveland brothers or
anyone else dx'd that long ago handled their D. I am not focused on the
*history* of my D, how long I've had it, how long I've been living with it,
what changes I've seen (and even *I* have seen some changes, even being a
newbie with a 13.5 year old dx). I do not think of myself primarily as
someone with D; there is a lot more to me than just my D. Yes, I'd love to
sit down and talk for a long while to another pumper, just to see what we're
both doing to cope *in the moment,* but I never thought that I'd be read the
riot act because I stepped forward to say that I didn't think that people took
what I said to be of value here.
>> BTW, those first new pumps (sizes of checkbook box & king size cigarette
pack) are mentioned because many newbies refuse to wear one of the present-day
BIG pumps (size of 3/4" stack of business cards or cell phone/pager). >>
*This* is what I meant in my prior post about your mentioning things
repeatedly. You mention things using *exactly* the same words every time --
for instance, "I learned 17 new things about pumping...," "the size of a
checkbook box...," "the size of a king size pack of cigarettes." It gets, for
lack of a better word, a bit tiring. At least change up the words you use.
People have been reading the same words, word for word, for YEARS.
>> As someone else said, maybe it's the way your Q is worded. Re-look at it
and try a different form. Maybe none of us has experienced your dilemma and do
not feel qualified to give a reply. Should we reply that we cannot reply? How
many times has this happened? >>
I don't ask questions. I respond to already-established threads, and my
message is often the ONLY message WITHIN that thread that doesn't get a
response. People respond to EVERYthing else, but I don't believe that I've
ever received a response here to anything I've contributed to any discussion.
And I think that what I share is substantial and offers quite a lot of
information.
>> You could read my book (Tolerating the Sweet Life) and see a whole lot more
about the first insulins and what we went through 60 years ago when NPH
(beef/pork) and the Exchange System were first released. >>
I did read your book; in fact, I bought it twice. The FIRST copy was in my
car the morning I had my car accident in 2005, that totaled my car. I almost
died in that accident. I left for work with a BG of 103 mg/dl, with no
insulin on board other than my basal, and 20 minutes later passed out at the
wheel of my car with a 24 mg/dl BG. I broke my back and my neck, had spinal
fusion surgery, and was on disability from work for four months, in hospital
for two weeks, in inpatient rehab for two weeks, and in three cycles of
outpatient physical therapy. I had the surgery two days after the accident
because I was told that the fractured vertebrae in my thorasic spine were
pressing into my spinal cord and I risked paralysis. I lost my first copy of
your book. I enjoyed it, but while reading it, I admit that I had a lot of
the same thoughts I've had while here, i.e., I'm so grateful to have been dx'd
when I was, so that I could control this with the tools necessary and not end
up with the complications that some of you suffer.
I rarely share what happened to me with other Ds; a discussion here last year
(I believe) made me decide that I would NEVER mention what had happened to me,
lest I be accused of "not taking care of my D properly, or not testing as
often as I should, or whatever else was tossed at others about why they
shouldn't be driving. I did NOTHING wrong that morning. It was horrifying,
terrifying, the single most terrifying experience of my life, and I wouldn't
wish it on anyone. I didn't find out until two days AFTER my surgery, when I
spoke to a State police officer (they responded to the call) who just
randomly, matter-of-factly told me, "well at least you didn't involve another
car...," THE ONE QUESTION I'D BEEN TORMENTING MYSELF WITH AND HAD ASKED
COUNTLESS PEOPLE ABOUT. In one moment, that man gave me back my will to
fight. Had I involved an innocent person, I don't believe I'd be alive today.
It would have destroyed me emotionally and psychologically and I wouldn't have
been able to live with it. It was that morning, after that phone call, that I
realized that I could finally focus on becoming strong again, and I focused
EVERYthing on my physical recovery. The mental, emotional and psychological
impact would come later. And it DEFINITELY came later. I'm still trying to
work through it, 5.5 years later.
Christine
.
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