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Re: [IP] Children, parents and D


My heart goes out to you.  I too have experienced the "strange" ways of a 
mother who did not know what to do with her own grief about my diagnosis of 
diabetes.  Mom died a little over two years ago and I am very lucky to have 
come to terms with her before she died.  She was diagnosed two days after 
Mother's day in 1999 with terminal breast cancer that metasticised in her 
liver.  She died 13 hours short of her 82nd birthday.

I saw a very physically active senior who danced three days a week up until 
May 1 that year diminish to coma by August 6th the same year.  During that 
three months she gave away all of her possessions and came to terms with her 
own death.  The last time I saw her I told her that although I would not have 
made some of the decisions that she had made for me, I had come to respect 
her.  I had been told that I would never have children and when she died my 
boys were 9 and 6, and since having my boys I could only feel that whatever 
decision she had made for me was made at the time with my best interest at 

To this day I remember the arguments that she and my dad had over "who gave 
me diabetes".  I also remember feeling very alone because I knew no other kid 
with diabetes.  Mom and dad would not swallow their pride and ask for 
financial assistance for me to attend camp.  At nineteen in a near suicidal 
state I wrote to our local ADA affiliate and got on at the camp as a 
Counselor In Training.  I still regularly correspond with two of the campers 
who were in my cabin.

Try to put into your mind that your mother has been dealing with her own 
misdirected guilt about the diabetes.  Try to be easier on her and yourself, 
both of you are only human.

Cee Dee
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