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[IP] Family denial (was "full" responsibility)

These thoughts were inspired by the topic on when kids take full
responsibility, but I didn't want to interrupt that topic, so I thought
I'd spin this off.

I became diabetic as an adult, but I still have some of the same
sense of denial from my parents that some of you describe. It wasn't
as painful for me because there was never any question that they 
would be involved in my care, and I hadn't lived with them for many
years. But I still remember, about six months after I was diagnosed -- 
but before my doctor put me on insulin and belatedly realized that I 
was not type 2 -- my parents went on a trip to Europe. I was in bad 
shape just before they left (I'd recently had surgery for a uterine 
fibroid, following months of blood loss and hormone therapy -- yuck!).  
My mom called to see how I was doing. Except that it soon became clear 
that she didn't *really* want to know how I was doing -- she wanted 
me to tell her that I was doing better, which I wasn't. Since then, I've 
rarely tried to tell her when I'm having trouble. The weird thing is that
I totally understand how she feels. She's just unable to accept the reality 
of my having diabetes. She doesn't want to think about it, and she doesn't 
want to deal with it, because it's just too painful for her to contemplate 
that her baby could die, go blind, etc. from this disease. This reaction is 
not the form of love that I would choose, but it is love.

/Janet L.

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