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Re: [IP] I still don't like pumping

On 2 Jan 2001, at 11:12, Judy wrote:

> Am I the only one?  Everyone writes about how great pumping is, you all
> have super numbers, feel great, etc.  My numbers are no better than they
> were on  shots,  and I don't feel any different.
> I cannot get used to wearing the pump.   I put it in my bra and if falls
> out each time I bend over.  If I stick it in my pockets, I pull the
> tubing when I go to the bathroom.  I cannot find a comfortable way to
> sleep with it.  The thigh belt won't stay up, and it falls out of shirt
> pockets.  

I clip it on my belt on the left side (I'm right handed).  I don't have 
enough Up Top to create a little pocket to put it in (with it sticking 
out farther than my natural profile does!), so I can't wear it in my 
bra.  Haven't tried the thing thing.

It did take a bit to get used to it trying to dangle into the toilet.  I 
think I'm just gradually changing my posture so that it dangles 

At night, I put it in the front (center) pocket of my night shirt or I 
wear it in a Clip-N-Go clipped to a Waist-it and I coil the tubing into 
the Clip-N-Go, leaving enough room for the pump to slide out of my 
way when I'm on my stomach.

I sort of see it like getting used to wearing a wedding ring.  
Sometimes, when I bloat up too much, I take my rings off for a 
week or so, and then I have to get used to not wearing them.  THen 
when I put them back on again, I have to get used to wearing them 
all over again.  My wedding ring has a couple of sharp points on it 
that dig in when I do things wrong, and I have to get used to that 
too.  Or its absence.

> But this is the worst:  I hate changing sites.  Each time Something goes
> wrong and then I am upset for most of the day til I know the new site is
> working.  

when I get frustrated and think it's not worrking, I'll do a syringe 
now and then (with my Autoject of course!) instead of a meal bolus. 
Then, when my BGs are back down, I start over with the pump and 
go back to rigorous carb-counting, and food weighing and try again.

I also carefully choose my time of day for site changes.  And if I 
can't do it when I want to, I'll again use a syringe for meal & high bg 
bolus until I can choose my time to suit ME.

I choose the time thusly:

* I have to have been awake for at least 3 hours and have drunk 2 
cups of coffee (morning has always been the worst for me for 
injections... I tended to avoid the morning long-acting dose, and 
thus avoided morning BG testing so that I would'nt feel panicked 
about my BG and feel pressured to inject when I wasn't emotionally 
able to handle it)

* It has to be at least 4 hours before bed.

* It has to be at least 2 hours before physical activity.

I work swing shift or night shift so I guess my usual site change 
time would be normal people's noon hour.

I change my site in my comfy chair.  Not in the bathroom, standing 
in front of the sink.  Not at a table or desk, not on my bed.  Only in 
my comfy chair.  This also tends to determine where the site is, 
since it has to be easily accessible while *in* that chair.  :-)

My parents decided to visit today before my planned site change 
time.  I was not going to change my site anywhere else but in my 
comfy chair and I wasn't going to delay the change either!  I was 
supposed to go out to work in about 2 hours and I'd get back too 
close to bed time.  And I'd just gotten home from a doctor's appt so 
I couldn't do it earlier.  So they had to witness it.  (Mom "wandered 
off" to chat with my hubby until she decided I "must be done by 

I get the tape ready to go by peeling off the backs and carefully 
draping them over the arm of the chair while I'm priming and waiting 
for the IV prep to dry.

Bruno the dog has to be not bugging me for anything.

I have to howl and sing or tell limericks while I'm pinching the skin 
and getting ready to push the button (SofSerter), to distract me.

At someone's suggestion, I practiced the site changes on the arm 
of my chair several times.  (There's still tape goo on the fabric I 
think, but oh well, it was important that my fingers learn how the 
motions should *feel*)

> What is so great about this thing???  I have been on it for a month and
> ready to give up.

I'm so intensely needlephobic that knowing I had to shoot up 
several times a day meant I was upset all day long every day.  For 
6 months.  I never got used to it.  I think even in 48 years I wouldn't 
get used to it.  To me, this is a huge relief from that constant 
dread.  I don't *avoid* eating anymore.  (I'm underweight, always 
have been and don't need anything else stopping me from eating!  
It's way too easy to kill my appetite).

And I found having to carry syringes and bottles and my rather 
large Autoject2 around with me in my purse to be incredibly 
cumbersome.  This "pager" on my belt *seems* a lot less 
cumbersome.  I don't have to remember to bring it cuz it's always 
already there..  I don't have to think, "am I going to eat while I'm 
out? do I need to bring my Stuff?" 

Now, I can just stand up, grab my purse and go.

I can drive past Krispy Kreme and think..... hmmmm.....  and turn 
on my blinker..... :-)  I couldn't do that before without going through 
the dread that you feel about site changes.  Now, I only have to go 
through that once every 3-5 days (yes, most of my sites last 5 
days with no apparent problems) instead of several times a day.

No more feeling suicidal several times a day. I can actually forget 
about the dread most of the time now.  Instead of having to fight off 
the dread every day all day.

YMMV, of course.

People don't understand why I felt suicidal so often since being put 
on insulin. They don't understand my intense needlephobia.  So I 
can see how frustrating it must be for you when we wax 
rhapsodical while you're utterly annoyed with the whole thing.
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