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Re: [IP] RE: significant others and fixing things

In a message dated 1/28/00 11:49:32 AM Eastern Standard Time, 
email @ redacted writes:

<< They feel that they are being helpful by trying to fix
 your problems (whatever they may be) and don't understand that you don't
 want help, you just want understanding. >>
    This is good advice in general - not just for diabetes-related issues. My 
favorite anecdote on this theme was from a mom whose ballerina daughter 
hadn't been chosen for a lead role. The mom went on & on about how unfair it 
was & how her daughter was so beautiful and talented,etc...finally, her 
daughter stopped her & shouted "no Mom- the other girl WAS better - all I 
wanted you to do was listen to me & say you understood!".....Thereafter, I 
tried to remember not to "fix" everything that was "broken" in my 2 teenaged 
daughters' lives......The more they can do for themselves, the more 
"successes" and "triumphs" over failure they can achieve, the better off THEY 
will be, even if it gives me indigestion to stand by & watch them struggle!!! 

Regards, Renee ( who's married to the consummate "hunter/fixer" counterpart 
to my "gatherer" self!!)
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