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[IP] Soda & Guilt (was "real soda")

>Why is it that these kids feel that we will be mad at them for eating or
>drinking something they may now have. Kevin does that all the time. I tell
>him as long as he can count and pump for it go ahead and we'll see what
>happens. I think they are so used to us telling them no they can't have

You are right on target with your last statement there.  I think that the
kids do it for the same reason this adult does...or did, until recently!
They are (unintentionally, I hope) handed a sizable dose of "diabetic guilt"
right from the getgo that is VERY difficult to shake, even when you are
pumping & have the tools to work with for eating or drinking previously
"forbidden fruit".  As an adult pumper, I didn't have to deal with this
transition as a child under parental supervision...but imagine the confusion
of trying to assimilate the seemingly mixed message of several years of "no,
you can't have that" changing to "go for it!"  I can easily see where the
ingrained feeling of "I'm bad if I eat that (many kids' interpretation, not
usually parents' deliberate message)" can be hard to get rid of, even when
logic & that wonderful little pump say "hey, you CAN do this!"  I don't
necessarily mean that this guilt is handed to them only by parents,
either...the whole world is often glad to contribute (usually with the best
of intentions) to the feeling that you are committing a henious crime by
having that piece of cake or drinking that regular soda.  I have had
cafeteria cooks (this past fall, even after my pump was a seven-day-wonder
in the school district & extremely well publicized) NOT give me the cookie
or cake that is a part of the school lunch, saying kindly "Oh, you can't
have that, you're diabetic."  (they say it as though this is news to me)
And then they look worried & hurt when I insist that I CAN have it, as
though I am doing something wrong by carelessly disregarding their
well-meaning advice.

I know that the process is slow to alter ideas that have been in place as
long as the "diabetes=no sugar for you!" concept has, & it's a matter of
educate, educate, educate...that will sometimes meet with success &
sometimes not.  It's just very frustrating as an adult to face it & realize
that you are up against something that has been the case for so long that
sometimes you are NOT going to change it, & know that the best way to deal
with that is to remind yourself that the person's intentions are good & go
right on ahead with what you are doing as gracefully as possible.  I have
trouble even imagining what it must be like for a child, who is surrounded
by the adults out there in the world who "know best" to combat outdated ways
of thinking.

I'm not parent-bashing here, & I'm not trying to tell people how to raise
their children, diabetic or not...just pointing out that old habits (&
feelings) die hard, & although your child may know full well that s/he now
has a pump that allows previously off-limits items to be consumed, the
transition of seeing them in that light of now being acceptable is not an
overnight process.  The world does not always embrace new ways of doing
things...your child may face more disapproval "out there" than you realize,
so encourage them to talk about it with you if it seems they are feeling
hesitant or guilty.  And THANK YOU  parents on here who remind me every day
that children do get the support they need - in the public school system,
there are days you begin to doubt that, & your comments & concerns here let
me know how very fortunate your children are.

Long-winded, yes, but I feel much better now!  :)

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