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Hi Brian!

I just joined this list a few days ago, and I share a lot of your thoughts.  I dream about the kind of control I hear people on this list talking about, and its sort of embarrassing writing my issues into the group when I feel so much more out of control than most.  

I'm 28, and Ive been diabetic since I was 9.  My doctor growing up was very laid back about everything.  We tried to keep my blood sugars within a good range, but I never learned calorie counting, carbo counting,  etc.  I think my A1Cs as a child were in the 10s, and my doctor always seemed to think that was ok.  Things got more out of control in college.  It was just very easy to ignore my diabetes because I could recover from any short term highs or lows, and I just wasnt concerned about long-term problems.  You know... all those complications are not gonna happen to me?!?!?!  

For the past few years Ive been trying to get things in better control.  Ive managed to get my A1Cs down to about high7s or low 8s.  For me, that's progress!  I got my pump about 2 years ago in the hopes of getting them down even more.  I know that if I want to have children some day, Ive got to get this much more under control!!!  With the pump, my A1Cs have stayed the same, and Ive noticed more extreme fluctuations thorughout the day.  I use humalog in the pump which may be the source of some of the extremes Ive noticed.  

In any case, one of my biggest issues righ tnow is recording my BS, my boluses and my carb count.  I have never been good at recroding these things, partly cause its a pain, and partly because I hate to write down "bad" numbers.

Just wanted you to know someone else is in your boat too.  I wrote back on this list, not privately, because I think its important that others who may feel the same way have a chance to hear our thoughts.   


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