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[IP] Bill Clinton's Medical Terminology



This memo was discovered in the White House trash by reporters who were
working on a story about the failed National Health Care Plan.  Phase One of
the Plan called for us to learn some new vocabulary:

--- from the Oval Office ---

Artery - the study of paintings
Bacteria - the back door of a cafeteria
Barium - what doctors do when patients die
Bowel - a letter like A, E, I, O, and U
Caesarian section - a neighborhood in Rome
Cat Scan - searching for Chelsea's cat
Catherize - make eye contact with
Colic - a sheep dog
D & C - where Washington is
Dilate - to live long
Enema - not a friend
Fester - quicker
Genital - not a Jew
G.I. series - military ball game
Hangnail - coat hook
Impotent - distinguished, well known
Labor pain - getting hurt at work
Mammogram - a telegram to your mama
Medical staff - a doctor's cane
Morbid - a higher offer
Nitrates - cheaper than day rates
Node - was aware of
Outpatient - a person who fainted
Papsmear - a fatherhood test
Postoperative - a letter carrier
Rectum - dang near killed 'em
Seizure - Roman emperor
Sonogram - a telegram to your son
Tablet - a small table
Terminal illness - airport sickness
Tumor - more than one
Ultrasound - a loud noise
Urine - opposite of you're out
Varicose - nearby
Weak - seven days

As soon as the National Health Care Plan is released, special company-wide
terminology training for all personnel will be held.  Until then, if you
have any questions, dial 1-800-HILLARY.