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[IP] Endo's and A1Cs

This post is a vent.  I tried to vent it to my boyfriend, but he just didn't
quite "get it" (he has never really dealth with any sort of health problem

Yesterday, I went to my appointment with my at-the-time-current endo.  It
was my 4th appointment at this office.  (Last spring I moved to this city.)
At this diabetes clinic, you aren't assigned to any specific endo.  There
are about 4 plus the head guy.  The first time I saw just the head guy and
loved him.  Appointment two was a disaster that I walked out of and ended it
by having it marked in my chart that I was NEVER to see the endo that I had
that day again.  Appointment number 3 was okay.  The endo I got did not like
computer written logs, but other than that I got along with him (I figured
it would be worth it to just copy two weeks worth of numbers by hand and
give it to him).  Yesterday, appointment number 4.  First, I got the lady
that I said I was never to be scheduled with again (I had a late appointment
and was the only one left other than the head guy, which I evenually got
after I threw her out... again).  Second, she starts by telling me that she
didn't like how I had written out my log and bagered me because she saw that
I had previously been giving them computer print outs, and she likes that
better.  Arg.  Then when going over my numbers, she said that I HAD to have
done SOMETHING that caused my inconsistent numbers.  (I had cooked a large
pot of a rice casserole thing, and had it for three consecutive dinners (I
just like doing that at times).  All three dinners, I started off close to
in range.  The first night I was 400 at bed, and then two hours after my
correction dose, I was 53, and took a massive amount of carbs to correct.
Day two, I was fine afterwards.  Day 3, I once again went to 400, but the
exact same correction brought me to a perfect 115.  I stated events like
this frustrate me.  She said that I must have caused this somehow and is my
fault.  I am at the point that I don't blame myself for things like this I
can't explain, I just correct and move on.).  Then the comment that made me
throw her out.  She said I had not tested at ALL between November and two
weeks ago because I didn't bring in records to prove that I did.  I have
done NOTHING to make her not trust me.  The office has never asked me for
more than my most recent 2 weeks worth of records.  I am not going to work
with someone that insults me and doesn't trust me.  I need someone to
support me.  If I could trust the group that I would never get her again, I
would stay, but I had already requested to NEVER see her, and was promised
that I never would.  (And yes I am yelling, I'm quite ticked off.)  So I am
back to shopping around for an endo (my insurance company requires me to see
an endo every 3 months, and eye exam annually, and periodic formal diabetes
education programs... however they do cover all but a small co-pay, so I try
to conform... I hope it will give me a better chance of upgrading when I
decide to).

The other thing was I got my A1c again.  After I started on Humalog and
Ultralente, my A1c's were always in the high 6's.  Which was good and bad.
Good because I and my endo liked the range, bad because I was weekly having
several reading in the 20-35 range.  Since I have been pumping (for close to
3 years now), I have bounced between 8.4 (I NEVER had a A1c that high
before) and 7.2.  With all of my endos saying that I need to get it in the
low 6's.  On the positive side, my blood sugars are no longer a super ball,
and I don't think I've had more than 4 bgs in the 30's (and none in the
20's) since I started pumping.  That along with sleeping in, not having to
drag around syringes, and more freedom eating and exercising, I would never
go back to MDI (even though my A1c's were lower).  However it frustrates me
I can't get my A1c's lower.  I am forever basal testing.  It can work
perfect one day, then be wrong two days, then fine for the next 4.  At some
point, I've stopped blaming myself for this, and decided that it is what my
body is doing (at least at right now).  I'm getting to the point where the
only way I think I could get it lower would be consistently testing every 2
hours (at least while I'm awake) and adjust.  I don't know if I want to do
this (I do test around 4-7 times a day).  Sometimes, diabetes makes me very

Maureen dx 10/94 pump 4/99
PS I suspect part of my feelings are due to my recent lack of sleep.
Because of the ice storm, I had an unexpected, unwilling, 94 year old
houseguest for close to 2 days.  Not only did I have to completely rearrange
my house to keep her safe and from ruining my stuff and have her aides in my
apartment, the one night I had to care for her myself (her aide who was
scheduled had pnenomia), she was paranoid, possibly hallucinating, and was
trying to run away.  I got 11 hours of sleep total in a 3 day period.  No,
this is not when my really unexplained numbers happened (although I had some
strange ones, but I attributed all of them to stress).  Sigh.  Thanks for
the vent, I needed it.  ;-)
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