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Re: [IP] Advice/disability-long


  You had no choice or say in who your family was that you were born into.  I 
always thought that being a part of a family meant unconditional love for the 
rest of your life and that you have to give it too!  BOY was I WRONG!!!  I am 
one of 4 children (#3) and even though I share pleasantries with two of my 
siblings that is about it.  We have NOTHING in common except our history.  
Sometimes I even wonder if we really had that!  It is surprising sometimes.

  Anyway, your parents raised you the best way they knew how at the time.  
You had siblings while growing up.  I have decided that is basically where it 
all ends.  You go your separate ways and I have learned not to expect 
ANYTHING more from them.  Now, if you are one of those lucky ones that has a 
close, loving relationship with your family that is GRAVY on the food of 
life!!!  And that is all.  So, Elizabeth, don't expect something from people 
that you know will not be able to give you what you really want and need.  
Focus on YOUR family (spouse, children) do the best YOU can, not what others 
think you can and get on with YOUR life, not there's!

  One of the hardest things I've had to really work on is to learn that it is 
my responses to other people that may cause me to think or feel a certain 
way.  Those people's actions or words do not inflict anything on me but my 
reaction to it.  If you can look at the source and decide to not accept what 
it is they are saying/doing then  you won't FEEL that guilt or pain.  The 
only SOURCE you need to be listening to and reacting to is YOURSELF!!  This 
is still hard for me at times but I'm working on it daily!

Good Luck!  And enjoy the rest of your life!!

mom to Joshua
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