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Re: [IP] Advice/disability-long

I've learned not to talk about my disability.  In today's world if you work
or stay home your being judged. People complain about women who don't work
because they are lazy and women who work don't take care of their kids-it's
crazy.  It is what  it is we all have our struggles-and besides disability
is not easy to come by we are certainly scrutinized, poked and prodded by
the best before a judgement is made in a court like setting.

In my case I have worked all my life and reached a point where I simply
could not function at work anymore-I still always feel like I'm on drugs
because of my insulin sensativities. However I do find the people who know
I'm on disability think I should not be enjoying myself and I use to feel
the same out of guilt I guess-I don't feel that way anymore I will live my
life the best I can and the way I choose to not someone else. I have to work
hard to enjoy myself because I do always think What If my sugars high What
if my sugars low?  Should I be checking my bs levels before I do that or
after I do that?  I won't even walk up to the mail box to get the mail
because of past bad experiences. I thank God my son ifs finally at that age
where he doesn't want Mom at school-so I don't have to tell him no anymore.
My sugars are always high when I drive because I'm afraid of going low so I
hate to drive somewhere. So even though I'm home I still get stressed about
D there's no getting away from it. However I can take the time to calm
myself and pay attention to my bs levels now.

I did data entry and my work was not consistent/dependable.  Also how do you
answer the phone or wait on customers when your the only one in the office
and your having a low. I fell in the parking lot at work once on ice and
when I got in the door I hit such a bad unexpected low they almost called
the ambulance. No one should have to work like that. I quit my job when my
endo put me up to 5 shots a day-just kinda broke down and never went back.
To this day I hate going in an office .  I loved office work, I miss my
friends, miss dressing up and being told I look nice, I miss the feeling of
accomplishing someing and being told " Good Job"  Bottom line is there's no
way I could work, I struggled with this for a long time before filing for
disability-it's not an easy thing for me to say I can't do someting I am
proud person-diabitiey has taken a lot away from me-I would never let anyone
know that either! (I guess I'm stubborn too :o) If I had a choice I'd rather
feel well enough to work.

Carol T.

----- Original Message -----
From: <email @ redacted>
To: <email @ redacted>
Sent: Sunday, February 25, 2001 2:37 PM
Subject: Re: [IP] Advice

> hi
> i know how you feel. i am also on disabilty. It is true many people will
> u you should not be on disability but those who care about you and love
> will understand. You have to think about your self, not what others will
> think. this is your life and you are the most important thing in it right
> now.  There is no sense in working yourself to death/
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
> send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml