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[IP] Advice

I am torn right now and not sure what to do........Yesterday I saw my Endo.
My repeat 24 Hr. urine was not good and he has put me on an Ace Inhibitor.
He said we'll eventually bump it up to the maximum. My microalbumin
excretion rate was still high, he said we have to get it to 0. I also have
other health problems, lots. My Endo is a wonderful doctor. We discussed all
the problems that I have. I brought up the financial difficulty that I am
having. I cannot work a full time job. This has put a great deal of strain
on my family, I have two young children. We discussed Disability. He said to
me "You write everything down, and I will sign it". (Meaning the application
for disability benefits). I am really confused. I have been racking my brain
all night. This is a big decision to make. I am tossing the possibility of
eventual kidney failure, with the thoughts of working myself to death for
what???? I am so afraid to call my employer and say "I am not going to be
able to return to work". I am very afraid. I only have a few people that I
can talk to that can even remotely understand. I spoke with my pharmacist
last night. He said 'go ahead', especially if you have a specialist signing
your forms, everything will be o.k. Look at all the people on disability
that don't deserve it'. Ughhhhhhhhh. I do not know what to do. I now that
because of the Neuropathy, now nephropathy, angiolipomatosis, kidney
abnormalities, and lots of other troubles, working takes a heavy heavy toll
on my body. Is it worth it? Is going on disability a death sentence???? Does
anyone have advice? Or has anyone been there???? I have to call my employer
today to talk to her, I am so afraid.......................Thanks, Wendy
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