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[IP] Re: significant other

>My boyfriend is very helpful ... but doesn't have a clue what it's
>like to really live with it ... The bad side?  Just theother day he compared >DM to having "a little athsma."  Am I wrong to be upset about that? ... it >seems like he thinks it's no big deal.  He thinks I take shots and eat a >little extra food when I get hungry and that's the whole story.

Well, here's a response from from "the other side"... I am sorry to say,
but when I first started dating Shane, I also thought having diabetes
was no big deal. You do your shots everyday and you're fine. I think
this is due to a lot of factors - one of which is the lack of knowledge
about this disease among the general public. We are taught all kinds of
things about other diseases and how to prevent them and what the
treatments are and how horrible it is to live with them, but somehow we
don't hear very much about diabetes. Especially insulin dependent (other
than "don't eat sugar"). Another factor was Shane's attitude at the
time. He didn't want to admit that diabetes was a big deal, so those of
us around him took our lead from him. It wasn't until Shane had seizures
in the middle of the night and the horrible episode where I had to call
911 that I realized what this disease could do. At the time I didn't
even know that the seizures were from a low blood sugar. Shane
intentionally ran high because he hates lows, so I had rarely even seen
a low, much less a severe low. Then I started going to his doctor
appointments with him (the doctors were not thrilled about this, but too
bad for them) and reading up on this disease and I started to understand
more of what it is all about. Hopefully your boyfriend can get the
message without you having to go to the extreme of having seizures or
getting hospitalized!

I guess what I am saying is that your boyfriend's attitude is not that
uncommon, and as you said, a lot of it is not really his fault. But that
doesn't mean you can't be upset about it, and it doesn't mean you
shouldn't try to help him change his attitude (I am proof it can
happen!). Did you tell him you were hurt by his comparing D to athsma? I
know you probably tell him all about things like site changes and lows,
etc. But do you ever tell him about how it really makes you feel? We
women tend to think that if our men REALLY loved us they would know what
we are thinking and feeling, but it doesn't work that way - which is
really irritating sometimes (our telepathic emitters are working just
fine, but they must've broken their receivers when they took them apart
to see how they work!).

>My question to you- aside from just needed a place to vent the frustration of >discovering that my best friend is utterly clueless- is first, how do I >explain/teach the importance, emotional stress, and just plain weight of >having DM to someone who doesn't have it?  And also, does anyone know of any >books- maybe something biographical, not technical but more on the personal >side, that a guy wouldn't find too boring?

I can't think of any books to recommend, but if you do find a book,
maybe you could read it together. Point things out to him that show how
you really feel. If nothing else maybe it will start a good discussion
between you about D.

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