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[IP] My sugar-free cake story

With all the talk about how some artificial sweeteners upset our digestive
systems I remembered the following story:  (This is 100% true, by the way)

I live in Boise, Idaho.  My sister, Gail, is an attorney who lives in
Maryland.  She has a client who is a professional baker in Dallas, TX who
specialized in baking cakes in unusual shapes.  About 5 or 6 years ago she
arranged for a very special birthday gift for me.  Seems her client was just
releasing a new "line" of sugar-free cakes.  I am a quilter when I'm not
reading email and surfing the net.  Gail sent her client a picture of a quilt
I had made for her daughter.  He, in turn, made the most extraordinary cake.
It was a bed, complete with headboard and footboard.  There was a teddy bear
made of sugar-free marzipan in the bed and he was under a frosting replica of
my neice's quilt.  The whole thing was HUGE, probably about 24" x 36" or so,
and was about 10 inches high with all the "furniture", and completely "sugar-

Now, did you catch the part about the baker living in Texas and me living in
Idaho??  He sent out press releases to the media and held a "photo-
opportunity/news conference" at the airport to announce his new line of cakes.
(He told me later that there WAS a picture of my cake in one of the Dallas
papers.)  He had made arrangements to have the cake carried on a United
airlines flight to Boise. The airline was reluctant, at best, to do this so he
told them a fib.  He told them that it was for "a dying lady in Idaho and this
was her last wish".  This appealed to the flight crew's sympathies and so they
agreed to take the cake.  They were planning to put it in one of the overhead
baggage compartments but it was TOO BIG.  Instead, they put it underneath one
of the flight crew's seats in the cockpit.  But, they had to break off part of
the headboard in order to make it fit.  As you may suspect, news of "the cake"
travelled all over the airplane and by the time the plane landed in Boise at
11:00 pm all the passengers had heard about the dying lady and her last wish.
Of course, I knew nothing about this bogus story and was sitting there at the
gate with a big smile on my face waiting for my cake.  My father went with me
to the airport since my husband had to stay home with our son (past his
bedtime, you know).  We noticed that the passengers were giving us rather odd
looks as they got off the plane, especially when my father's neighbor got off
and saw us sitting there and was totally speechless.  (He must have been
wondering why Dad hadn't told him that I was dying!)  The cake was last off,
carried by the flight attendants.  They appeared to be a little baffled
(probably by my apparent "good health" and the huge grin on my face.  I'm sure
I didn't look like a woman on her deathbed.)  By the way, the cake was
absolutely gorgeous, this guy has talent.

The next day, I took the cake to the quilt store where I work part time.  I
wanted to share it with everyone there.  We all ate some of it and marvelled
at the story of the cake's journey. (The baker had called me earlier in the
day to relate the tale of my impending doom.)  But several hours later, we all
noticed that we had to make frequent and urgent trips to the bathroom. (aka
"the trots").  I managed to put two and two together and decided then and
there, that I didn't like sugar-free cake anymore.  I kept the cake for
several days to look at but couldn't bring myself to eat any more of it.
Unfortunately, it finally ended up in the garbage.  I do have some great
photos, though.  

Have a great day!
Mary Jean