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[IP] Re: hating my pump lately! - but loving this list

**Thank you, thank you** to all those who wrote back to the list or to me 
privately.  I can't believe how much reading your emails has helped me feel 
motivated again and ready to keep trying.   

I don't know where it came from, but when it comes to diabetes I still have 
this mindset almost of being in school, and I *have* to do well, as if I'm 
competing with someone and I'm a failure if I don't do it right.  (You would 
think after 23 years of this I would have lightened up, geez!)  I never used 
to want to share my blood sugar charts with my health professionals unless 
they were really good--isn't that silly?  Being on this list, and hearing 
about others' struggles has made me realize that it's not a test; it's not a 
"being good" thing; it's really managing a hell of a lot of variables every 
single day and just doing the best you can.

So thanks for the reality check.  And for being so generous with your 
encouragement and advice.  You guys are great.   Hugs:  {{{ IP people }}}


<< I had three months of great results with my pump, was loving it, now I'm 
really frustrated!  All of a sudden my bg's just suck and none of my basal 
rates seem to work anymore.  I don't feel as well because I'm having highs 
alternating with lots of lows, and I just feel discouraged.   :-|

My doc and CDE both told me to be patient, that it takes many, many months to 
get this right (and I'm perimenopausal to top it off), but after such a great 
start, I'm finding it hard to stay positive.  (I even went without my pump 
for a night at a Christmas party because I'm so sick of it, but that was 
worse:  Those shots hurt!  How did I do 5-6 a day for so long??!)

It's kind of the same feeling as being on a diet, doing all the right things, 
and then gaining weight.  I've been putting in so much effort lately and it's 
not yet paying off.  On top of that I lost the belt clip for my pump--have 
been looking for it for two weeks because I *know* it's here somewhere--and 
it is getting VERY annoying to have the pump fall out of my pocket every time 
I bend over.  (just gave up and ordered a new clip yesterday...and of course, 
found the clip this morning!  LOL)

Anyway, if anyone has ideas, encouragement, or just an "I been there," I'd 
sure appreciate it!

thanks for all the help you've already given me in the short time I've been 
on this list.
Leeann >>
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