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Re: [IP] Re: Friends and family

In a message dated 12/26/00 9:03:05 PM Pacific Standard Time, 
email @ redacted writes:

<< m in complete agreement with you on this. I have never lied to
 my daughter about her disease and don't intend to either. If she
 asks me something about it, I tell her (just what she wants to
 know, and no more.) She is old enough to understand that diabetes
 is a serious disease. I want her to have hope, but not false
 hope. Realistic hope. I don't want her to think that all she has
 to do is exactly what we ask and everything will be perfectly
 fine and dandy. But at the same time, I don't want her to develop
 an attitude of "I'm just going to get complications and die from
 it anyway, no matter what I do, so what's the point of trying to
 have tight control?" We parents have to walk a fine line and
 tread very carefully so as not to send the wrong message (in
 either direction.) Not an easy thing to do! :)
I totally agree, you have to walk this fine line.  My son is now 14, was 
diagnosed at 8.  We told him what he needed and tried to not adding to an 
already overwhelming change in his life for an 8 year old.  He also already 
knew way more than a young kid needed to know having watched his father 
struggle with diabetes and some of the side affects.  Now he is very aware of 
the possibilities and trying to deal with the control while going through 
puberty, growing 6 inches in 1 year, stresses of starting high school etc.  
It gets to him sometimes, just as being a teen without diabetes can get to 
anyone going through it.  So the parents and his support group are very 
But walking that fine line pertains to the medical support group as well.  I 
guess the local Kaiser group has so many kids not in as good control and 
pumps are fairly new to our Kaiser pediatric group that I had one occasion 
that his diabetic educator nurse show the appropriate concern that there 
might be hidden lows when his A1 went down to about 6.5 after going on the 
pump.  (We checked extensively and found none.)  But the underlying message 
passed on to us was the control was too tight. Then my son then went 
overboard with exuberance not feeling he needed or just tired of having to 
count the carbs, not checking his blood, not changing his sites for as long 
as he could get away with. If he was way high, not correcting and then not 
checking again because he didn't want to know etc.  So next review when he 
was back up to 7.9 they still reacted like he was still doing great, but not 
knowing what was really going on.  It seemed to me they should have asked him 
what he thought the difference was, not encourage him to continue the same 
behavior that they didn't know about.  He and I had to have some long talks 
about it and he is doing great now.  Best of all he is in charge of it as 
much as he wants to be!  He just get help when the growing spurts, etc., 
start again and we review new basals together.  

So we all need to encourage the kids to not quit trying, but that line is 

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