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RE: [IP] anger and doctors -- a project
Lindsey [mailto:email @ redacted] wrote:
> There is anger towards doctors from diabetics all over the
I'm going to put on a different hat, here. I am a trained spiritual
director, and it's that mode that I'm entering here.
There is a lot of anger about diabetes, period. I think one of the biggest
sins of omission on the part of physicians, etc., is the failure to
recognize the grieving process when one is diagnosed. Part of the initial
undertaking should, IMNSHO*, should include some minimum number of sessions
with a counselor/therapist to help move through the process.
Certainly, there are some physicians practicing endocrinology who have
little interest or ability to understand all that we have to deal with.
It's important to remember that while the trend is to develop the patient to
be the lead player in the control of the disease, not all physicians buy in
to that mode. Medicine is a field in which there can be a lot of NIH
attitude (NIH = Not Invented Here).
Having said that, and recognizing that some doctors deserve our anger, I
suspect that most of the time, that anger is being projected onto the
doctor, but the anger is really at the diabetes itself, at our parents who
passed it on to us, at God, or at just about anything that will enable us to
*blame* someone for our condition. The final stage in grieving is
acceptance . . . that we have the disease and it's something we have to live
with; that it isn't anyone's "fault"; that it *can* be an opportunity to
grow; that it doesn't have to be terminal; etc., etc.
For myself, I've had to bounce around a little to pass through the process .
. . and in some ways I still do. Initially, I took about an hour to go
through all four stages of grieving, but I was strongly motivated. Two
months before I was diagnosed, a kindergarten classmate of Matthew's (my
son) lost his father in a one car accident. The school handled it well,
telling the children what had happened, and that when he returned, Brenden
would likely have times when he would just sit by himself, or might start
crying for no apparent reason . . . and all of these things did happen. The
children were told that it was OK to talk about it *IF BRENDEN BROUGHT IT
UP*, but not to ask him about it before then.
Then one night, Matthew asked me when I was going to die. I answered
honestly, that no one really knows when they will die. But I also told him
that I would do everything in *my* power to be around for him for a long
Then, the day before Thanksgiving, 1997, I was diagnosed with type 2
diabetes (later changed to type 1, but that's another story). That was the
kick in the ass I needed to embrace the discipline to do what I had told
Matthew I would do.
Since then, there have been times when I've realized (after the fact,
unfortunately) that the anger I was expressing at someone was really anger
and frustration at this damned disease. As soon as I think I have
everything figured out, my body decides to do something different, and I
seem to have to start over again. But I am committed to do everything I can
to die *with* diabetes, not *of* it . . . and not for a long, long time.
Now stepping down from the pulpit . . . 8-)
mailto:email @ redacted OR
mailto:email @ redacted
*IMNSHO = In My Not So Humble Opinion
The opinions expressed are my own and do not necessarily represent those of
my wife who runs this house and makes more important decisions than I do.
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