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[IP] my life

Dear fellow pumpers, 
I am sorry I haven't had anything to contribute to our
online community.  I am going through an
excruciatingly difficult time in my life right now. 
Andrew, my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years, last tuesday told
my best friend that he wanted to marry me! I was away
on a business trip and on Thursday, he went to a
Christmas party, met a girl, and believes she's his
soulmate!  When I came home on Sunday, he seemed
preoccupied and when I finally asked what was eating
him, he told me that he had feelings for someone else,
and it made him realize he had doubts about us and
he's been suppressing them up for years.  He has
completely ended our relationship.  I have been in
shock for days.  My BGs were high for a while and I've
gotten sick a bunch of times.  Luckily, I'm beginning
to see that I too was convincing myself that we should
be together, and choosing not to look at our
differences (which include an extreme difference in
maturity).  I have eaten next to nothing for the past
6 days, but luckily I have wonderful friends who have
been there for me.  I have also made an appointment
with a psychiatrist.  My problem right now, besides
the obvious, is that I suddenly have a lot of strange
feelings about the pump.  A lot of my decision making
about the pump was influenced by support from him and
that I was planning our future together and felt that
the pump would help that.  Although I'm still glad to
be a pumper, in discussing with my friends what I
would look for if I ever have another relationship, I
realized that I would have to open up about all my
diabetes fears and deal with someone new regarding the
    When Andrew and I got together in college, I was
going through a transition, where I was much more
comfortable and open about the fact that I was
diabetic.  I know that if I ever get involved with
someone again, that I would need someone who could
handle it, but I can't imagine being able to possibly
be rejected about diabetes.  I guess I remember how
some of my friends seemed a little freaked out about
the pump when I got it...although it was just an
initial reaction, it still kinda stung.  I know I'm
babbling, but I'm dealing with alot right now, and i'm
hoping to gain some insight.  Thanks.

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