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Re: [IP] Decision to have children

Fran, as I said in the post which I think started this topic,
I do absolutely respect the decisions of people who
choose not to have children, for whatever reason. There 
are many reasons for a person with diabetes to decide 
not to have children. Nobody should have children if they 
don't want to.

I think that what we who *do* want to have children are 
talking about is choice -- the ability to decide for ourselves.

What disturbs me is the attitude, which I've encountered
in many forms, that *of course* people should not have
children if there's a chance -- even a remote chance, as
there is with diabetes -- of passing on a terrible disease 
or condition. This attitude is so deeply ingrained that we 
often don't even think about it. For instance, in Amazon's
review of Andie Dominick's book _Needles_, the reviewer 
says "She has a tubal ligation rather than risk passing 
diabetes to another generation." If you've read the book, 
you know that this is an issue that Andie Dominick never 
brings up: in discussing her decision not to have children 
she writes about concerns about her own health, and the 
fear that she might die young and leave her child motherless. 
Obviously, the reviewer projected her own assumptions 
about what a diabetic woman "must" feel onto the book.

Maybe it's because diabetes doesn't run in my family
that I have no trouble saying that I'm not afraid of passing 
on this disease. But the bottom line, as many here have
pointed out, is that having children is a gamble. Always.
You make a decision whether to play the odds.

/Janet Lafler
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