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[IP] problems with relations (in-laws)


Good luck.  When I was growing up some of my relatives bothered the blazes
out of me with their "expert" knowledge - something they read in the
newspaper or saw on TV.  [If it is in print, it must be right and if it is
on TV it is fact].  The people I knew were doing it out of honest concern
and love didn't bother me, it was the family know-it-alls that were the
irritants.  To my knowledge there is no way to shut them up.  I refused to
do it back to them ("You shouldn't be rubbing your face, you'll make your
pimples worse by rubbing the oil into them"...), although I was sorely

If Eve knows you approve of what she is doing, then forget about the
relatives.  Establish a hand signal for you and Eve to use. I rubbed my
finger across the bridge of my nose.  If my mother approved of what I was
doing, she rubbed hers.  I don't remember the negative response, we didn't
use it often.  By getting the positive reinforcement, I didn't need to get
angry at my relatives.  By the way, I was Eve's age at the time we started
this procedure.  We kept doing it longer than was necessary, because it gave
us a silent way of rolling our eyes at the ignorant behavior displayed by
the know-it-alls.

The suggestion about staging a display of approval has possibilities.  When
I was finally allowed to eat ice cream after 2 years of not knowing it was
ok (1959 guys was a wonderful year for me) we had to retrain the entire
family and the school nurse.  My mother waited until everyone was gathered
for a family birthday party and then asked me what flavor I wanted.  When my
"know-it-all" started spouting off her "knowledge", Mom told the room that
the doctors at the Joslin clinic had explained to us how to include ice
cream into my exchange diet for periodic celebration - and that my birthday
counted as such.  That way we did not have to explain to everyone
individually.  And the family was able to remind Miss Know-it-all in the

Sorry this was so long.  Guess we hit a sore spot for me.

Betsy, hoping to pump soon.

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