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Re: [IP] anger issues in children
Boy do I hear you!!! 12 is a very tough age for girls- an age when the
LAST thing anyone wants to be is "different", whether that means spending a
ridiculous amount to have the "right" jeans ( they all look the same to me,
but what do I know?) or simply "fitting in".
Diabetes unfortunately doesn't "fit in" that easily...Even at best (pump
therapy) it doesn't just "go away"..Miscalculate a bolus & there are
immediate consequences that must be dealt with. In a world in which even
adults "blow off" their responsibilities with apparent impunity, it's a
tremendous burden for a pre-adolescent to know that there's no leeway here....
Even at almost 17, Melissa still has her "moments" when she feels
overwhelmed by her life....so I allow her to vent, to complain about all she
"has to do" compared to her lackadaisical friends, etc etc... When she's done
venting, the diabetes is still there, but at least she's "released" some of
the steam that's built up. She knows it's time for venting when that old lump
in the throat starts getting bigger & bigger!!
As for missing school, we used to keep Melissa on a schedule whereby she
went in mid-September, when school was just underway, then again during Xmas
break, again during spring break & then after school let out. If you're not
already on a scheudle like this, it might mean delaying an appt. to do so,
but I found this pattern far less intrusive on her school life.
Another friend takes her daughter to the endo's satellite office next to
the mall & makes a mother-daughter outing out of the day, going out for lunch
& treating her to one purchase at the mall. It may sound like "bribery", but
I believe our children have to do so much & be so responsible at such a young
age that there's no reason for NOT occasionally rewarding their dedication &
And lastly, don't rule out the thought of connecting with a therapist, if
that's an option. There is a very high correlation between diabetes &
depression. I pursued this avenue years ago & found it did ME more good than
Melissa I think! What came out of the sessions was that I wasn't giving
enough credence to just how much of a "job" she already had between handling
her schoolwork & activities, and her diabetes...and that any other
expectations that I was putting on her were pressing the psychic "overload"
Hope this helps....
Regards, Renee (pump-mom)
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