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Re: [IP] a ltr. to myself
I am not sure how old you are but my first instinct thinks possibly college
age or so. I am 38 years old and have been married for a longgggg time now.
My dad was a diabetic and now my 8 year old daughter is a diabetic.
You know and I know and anyone else who understands diabetes understands that
episodes like what you described do happen. (even when we have the best of
control) My ONLY advice to you is PLEASE find someone who is understanding
and compassionate towards you. If you marry this person you will be living
with them for many years to come and if you continue to take this type of
abuse it will eventually eat away at your self-esteem AND make you miserable
in the process. ALso, think about on down the line if you have children and
god-forbid you pass this along to your child do you want this person calling
them stupid and making your child feel badly about themselves as well.
My heart broke for you when I read your letter. I wish I could go into more
depth here but I am pressed for time and need to dash. You are not stupid and
you obviously have a perfectly fine IQ but your boyfriend for whatever reason
doesn't appear to be a very compassionate person and would be quite hard to
live with. Beleive me there are other men out there that WILL treat you with
the respect and compassion you deserve. If this is a pattern now be aware
that his abuse towards you worsen as time goes on. I advise not telling him
about this incident. It will only bring you more heartache.
For whatever reason when my dad gets really low he likes to 'swing' around
light poles. One time my husband got a call at work that my dad was swinging
around a lightpole and could he come help him. Jim never hesitated he just
did went down and patiently gave him glucose. He never called Dad stupid or
ignorant but just took care of him and oved him as he is, and I know it had to
have embarassed him to be seen with this man swinging around a lightpole
<grin>. My point is that never has Jim ever done anything to hurt my dad's
self esteem and thankfully is always there trying to boost our daughter's self
esteem and helping to make her Diabetes burdon a bit lighter. Diabetes is
hard on your self-esteem anyway without someone else beating you up over it.
Best of luck Emily. There are many of us on the list who DO understand and
who DO care. Keep in touch...
Sherri~ (Laura's mom and Bill's daughter!)
Insulin-Pumpers website http://www.insulin-pumpers.org/