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Re: [IP] Freaking Over Bgs

I will say a prayer that things eventually work out and you don't just give up.

From: ljsedgwick <email @ redacted>
To: email @ redacted
Sent: Tue, August 31, 2010 4:58:24 PM
Subject: [IP] Freaking Over Bgs

Freaking Over Bgs

I think I must have a problem with insulin absorption.  I keep getting very
high, unexplained blood sugars.  I'm talking 400s and 500s.  I am not eating
anything that would provoke such readings (sometimes I haven't eaten
anything at all).

I change sets regularly, but seem to have many more problems than I used to
with kinked cannulas (I use sils).  However, the last 4 or 5 sets I've
removed looked fine.  I have changed sets, insulin, etc.

This morning was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I got up with a
480, feeling terrible, with no idea why my Bg was so high.  I was unable to
go to our local Farmers' Market, the one redeeming event of my week, because
I felt too sick.  I spent most of the day lying down, drinking water, and
monitoring my blood sugars.  Eventually, I had a relatively low (65) blood
sugar, which convinced me that my current set and insulin are working.

I am really ready to give up.  I raised the issue of insulin absorption with
my endo, and she did not answer.  What happens to you if you have so much
scar tissue that you can no longer (or frequently cannot) absorb your
insulin?  No one (doctor or otherwise) will tell me, yet I cannot help but
think that there are others with the same problem I have.

I was using CGMS for a while, and in the beginning it seemed to very much
help me stabilize my sugars.  But the sensors hurt all the time and the cost
was prohibitive (BCBS of IL would not pay for anything), so I gave it up for
the time being.

I am, admittedly, under considerable stress.  I'm having problems on my job
because of outside issues that were clobbering me emotionally: divorce;
being forced to move from my house because of financial difficulties; a new
relationship with a guy who is disabled because he's had MS for over 20
years; an elderly aunt for whom I am POA, whose health is declining; and
health problems of my own (I had surgery for fibroids in March and in July
suffered a depressive episode (I have had clinical depression since my

The most recent thing that happened was that my soon-to-be-ex had our dog
euthanized without giving me the chance to say goodbye.  He took this action
suddenly, and I was literally unable to get cross-town to the vets' before
the deed was done.  When I found out his girlfriend was there, my emotions
really went ballistic (I was with the dog for 10 years; she might have known
him for 1.5 years), knowing that she now has the memories that were
rightfully mine.

After 36 years of living with the D-beast (along with all the other crappy
things that have happened to me), I am ready to quit trying.  I feel like
just ignoring the diabetes and letting it kill me quickly, rather than
slowly as seems to be happening.

I'm not sure what to do to help myself, and I haven't got the energy anyway.

I think IP is about the best place I could air my feelings with hope for
responses.  I am a long-time member, and I do contribute regularly (though
not as much as I would like to be able to contribute).

I apologize for the rant.  I am at my wit's end.


DX 12/74, started pumping 5/98, currently on MM522
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