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 --- On Mon 08/18, Amundson, Dustin < email @ redacted >

 From: Amundson, Dustin [mailto: email @ redacted]To:
email @ redacted: Mon, 18 Aug 2003 12:16:59 -0500Subject: [IP]
UNSUPPORTIVE WIFEMy BG's are not even. I do have a lot of ups and downs. My A1c
is usuallyin the low 7's. Last time it was 6.7. I think she is having PPD.
She'salways tired and very moody. I do try to help her, but it's never enough.

 Dustin, a couple of points from a woman's point of view...you can NEVER help

 1) Next time you go really low, do not say, *if I had the pump this wouldn't
happen or by ANY action, imply that*, 2) If you do not know how to cook, learn,
you do then cook 3-4 nights a week and not on the grill where she still ha to do
most of the work. Piza and take out does not coun't as *cooking*, neither does
making your mother or mother in law come over and do it. If you do not know how
and need to learn, bring one of the two, preferably HER mother over to teach you
would be best. 3) Same goes for laundry. Learn to do it. Btw, taking clothes out
of the dryer and not folding them does NOT count as helping. 4)Take out the
trash without asking and replace the trash bag without thinking about it. 5) Do
not ask, *is there anything I can do to help?* She will, of course, say no cause
you had to ask. Just look around and do whatever you can without getting in her
way. Even taking the kids off her hands for a bit will help. 6) Taking over the
middle of the night feeding/chang!
  ing will go a LONG way toward helping. Yes, I know you are working but then SO
IS SHE. 24/7/365 at being a MOM. One of the MOST important, least paid positions
on the planet. Think about it, you are trusting her with this helpless child and
she is sleep deprived. If she were a physician, you would expect her to be
better rested before seeing to your child's care.
 You mentioned a son by a previous marriage...do you have full custody or
limited visitation as in weekends and some during the weeks/holidays? When you
go off to work, who is responsible for his care while he is there? That is a
double whammy. I know, I have stepchildren altho mine are older and girls.
 Kick back, take some time and give her her space as far as getting use to life
with a baby. And HELP HER! More than you ever dreamed you could. It WILL pay
off. I promise. Liz

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