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Re: [IP] sooooo mad
> I just had an argument with my sister. this morning before i left for
work, i had a low blood
> sugar and drank one of her breakfast shakes. i told her about it later,
but she was still mad. i
> got mad too, because i was really low and it was kind of an emergency, and
i said, "look, this low
> blood sugar thing is NOT something i do just for kicks just to tick you
off, you know."
Sometimes anger is misplaced. Obviously I do not have a clue as to the
relationship you and your sister have, but if I may relate a few thoughts I
am only doing so in the hope that they will help.
Disease is a very scary thing to us humans. It doesn't matter what form
it takes. It conjures up thoughts and images of death with thousands upon
thousands of thoughts about, "What if. . ." and "If I only would have. . ."
As you are probably very aware there is no perfect outlet for our
feelings that we have as diabetics. Sure, we can talk to other diabetics
about our ups and downs but ultimately we are alone with our own
complications. Now think about our loved ones who have a working pancreas.
They usually don't have an intimate understanding of the mechanics of
diabetes, and have absolutely no way of understanding what it feels like to
be hyper or hypoglycemic.
Then with this limited understanding they see us maybe eating a piece of
cake or an ice cream cone and they only associate diabetes=no sugar. So,
they start to get a little concerned or a little angry. Or worse than that
we diabetics don't practice any good control for a long time so our loved
ones become as complacent about the disease as we do.
Then we start having complications. Now our loved ones are trying to
live their own lives as stress free as possible and our disease is thrust
upon them to deal with. It is integrated into the day to day living of the
family. We have support here on IP, through local support groups, maybe
another diabetic friend, and hopefully our healthcare team. Our families
many times have no other outlet than us--the diabetic.
Most of the information about the disease comes from us, and almost all
of the example of how to treat the disease comes from us. And frankly we set
a bad example sometimes.
Just like we wish the disease would just go away, so do our loved ones.
For their sake as well as ours. But it doesn't go away, and the stress just
build and builds until there is a flare of tempers. Some of the things said
in anger are meant and others are just steam blowing off without the whole
emotion behind the words being brought out.
I have been a diabetic for about 11 years and I still have family
members that think my insulin is taken to raise my blood sugar.
Personally I need a lot of encouragement to keep on a strict regimen of
control. Fortunately my wife supports me. My personality has completely
changed since I became a diabetic. I have an extreme difficulty with
optimism and I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have been told by
everyone that I am not the same person I was when I was younger. Well, I'm
I've apologized thousands of times for my disease and how it has hurt
those I care about. On the other hand I have gotten angry because some of
them seem to not care enough to educate themselves even a little about the
Yes diabetes SUCKS. People can't see it like a missing limb or other
such handicap, but it is still a handicap. A particularly nasty one that can
destroy us unless we watch it like we would a toddler playing next to a
highway. Your sister can't look at a part of your body and see the disease
working. She can only see it manifest itself after a high or low. She sees
only symptoms. It is tough to understand. We look perfectly normal as
diabetics until the disease is manifest through using insulin or pills, the
finger sticks, or through someone seeing the symptoms of a high or low.
Trying to explain to someone that something like an angry outburst was
caused by a low blood sugar will seem like an excuse. It doesn't connect to
anything tangible. It really doesn't make any sense to someone who does not
have the disease or an intimate understanding of it. A doctor could draw a
chart of the physiology of a diabetic event down to why a symptom was
manifest, but it will only look good on paper.
People still say to me, "Oh,you got sugar?" Yeah, I got sugar. Geez!
I've found that if someone is interested I will try my best to educate them
to a level they are comfortable with. I try to shatter the myths but am
mostly unsuccessful because they are entrenched like urban legends.
I would prefer that everyone I know have at least the amount of
knowledge that I do about the disease, but that isn't going to happen. I've
found that it is my responsibility to take charge of my disease and let
others know what to expect from me. People still get impatient or cranky for
example if they have to wait for me to take a shot before we go into a
restaurant. My favorite is the people who want to see the needle go into me
then make a face like they are getting sick.
Everyone deals with stress differently so I try to take care of my
diabetes and work around those who can't deal with it. It is so hard to do.
Sometimes I just want to tell them that I have enough to deal with so I'm
not going to deal with your problems too. However, they could say the same
thing to me.
Cody S. Alderson
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