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[IP] Need serious help


    I really don't see what good asking this question and ranting will do,
but I need to do it because I'm emotionally falling apart. On the 23rd I
have to get a C-peptide done (my last one was .8, not good enough for my
insurers!)and the results will decide literally, if I can keep my pump or
not. I cannot afford to pay for the necesseary supplies so if my insurance
(Medicare/Medicaid) will not cover it, I'm SOL and Fluffy I and II go into
storage until I win the lottery or something else miraculous. I was already
told I'd have to go back on MDI if my C-peptide is not .5 or less. I just
can't handle going back on MDI, while I know it's not the end of the world,
for me it's hell. I am a former "cutter" and MDI stirred up alot of negative
emotions for me b/c of the pain it caused me. The pump spared me the
constant needle pokes and discomfort and helped me mentally move forward.
Without my pump, I fear I will start cuttting or hurting myself again since
having sugars under control and less ways to break my skin intentionally
made me feel worlds better.Since pumping, I've actually been happy. I may
decide to go back on oral agents and forgo having a child (the reason I went
on a pump in February) and deal with sugars in the constant 200-300 range
rather than have to deal with MDI. I never wanted to be in a position where
I have to choose btwn a child, my husband and a pump. My pump let me live
and live with freedom and MDI was just existance, I don't want to just
exist, I want to live. I feel horrible w/omy pump and the quality of life
was horrible, many hypos, more illnesses, rigid schedules. I'm very scared I
won't be able to pump anymore. We just can't afford it. So my question is

How can I, if possible, make sure my C-Peptide is as low as possible? Atkins
Diet, ect? I need to prevent my body from making its own insulin.

I just can't lose my right/privilage to pump!

Thank you,

Randi Pixie Bruner
Bete SA

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