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[IP] sneaking food VERY VERY LONG
> they took away her snacks to try to set basals...
> has gotten her snacks back, and we have
> given her some treats, telling her more will be
> forthcoming, if she waits patiently for the other
> ratios. We recently found out she has been sneaking
> overnight to check BG's, while our daughter is
> sabatoging her efforts. We are surprised by the lying
> we have explained that she is very lucky to have been
> given the chance to be on the pump. That when I
> wife wants to take her off the pump. SNIP
> child that sneaks food, or remember if they did when
> they were small.
YOU betcha! I bet there are very few on the list who will say they NEVER
sneaked food...I was very good at hiding those candy wrappers in a little
hole under my mom's bed...then the day they bought a new mattress and took
off the old one, there was a mountainous pile of candy wrappers...busted!!!!
She is 5. You can NOT rationalize this. You have to set limits. If this
was my darling daughter, here is what I would do in nothing flat:
Put her back on the shots. Take away ALL treats
When she realizes the lesson and wishes to comply, then she will. You told
her she could have treats on the pump...did you tell her she was still the
little girl and you were the mommy and daddy who said WHAT and WHEN she could
have them? is there "time out" or spanking or the paddle or something that
you use to establish order? This is just one more of those things the kid
has to learn about growing up
Don't waste anymore grief over it. You are doing the best for her you can.
If she is unable or unwilling to play by the rules of the game, then she
needs to go back to Chutes and Ladders. If she is like ME, if threatned with
injections, she will IMMEDIATELY turn into a pump user poster child.
The following comes from sometihng I wrote in October 1999 and I htink it is
very appropriate here:
"Diabetes is as much a part of a child's life as are his wisdom teeth, poopy
diapers and scraped knees. To treat D as "separate" is to do a child a
dis-service! Who else is supposed to guide us through this learning
experience? If not mom/dad, then who? the doctor? god? some book? a
school teacher? I think not. True, accidents happen and a child does not
need punishment every time they do, but think about it...parents raise kids
to become self sufficient, contributing and hopefully LIVING members of
society. Don't parents punish kids who doesn't follow the rules they set up?
Shouldn't grounding be in order if a 15 year old misses his 10pm curfew,
doesn't call home, and then wanders in at 2am? Wouldn't a child be made
aware of doing wrong, and perhaps even punished, if he had swung the cat by
its tail, or forgotten his glasses when he got behind the wheel of a car, or
for speeding through the neighborhood.
Or would it be better to WAIT until he calls from ER at 2 AM to tell you he
had been in an accident and THEN drive home those rules about calling if you
are going to be
late...would you wait until he hit someone to enforce the wearing of
prescription glasses, or got a ticket for speeding that causes your insurance
rates to go up? Are you gonna WAIT til the complications set in and THEN set
down some parameters of expected behavior for your diabetic child?
....I think learning HOW to live, how to cope with what what you get in this
crap shoot, is something children NEED to be taught by their parents, and
that includes learning how to live with diabetes. We need to be taught how
to make STRONG choices (and not just with Diabetes things), as well as what
the consequences will be if we make WEAK choices (and again, not just with
While kids do not need to be humiliated or embarrassed, and not every offense
deserves a spanking or grounding, (though some do), it is still the parents
*Responsibility* to teach right from wrong, and how being "naughty" can
result in a punishment... "Right" is eating properly, taking your insulin,
wearing your seatbelt, not smoking, driving safely, doing your homework, not
lying and learning how to accommodate for a package of Oreos. "Improper or
WEAK choices" would include skipping shots, forgetting snacks, being late
without calling, cheating at school, not picking up your insulin when sent to
the store withmoney to get it, and refusing to take part in the care of your
diabetes. Sure, at age 12 I don't think I would have been able to figure it
ALL out, despite being as intelligent as my parents tell me I was, but rather
than a "mere" yelling when they found all those ice cream bar wrappers, I
think I needed to be punished! Spanked? Grounded? I don't know. Something
from my figures of authority to drive home the lesson that my
irresponsibility was NOT just a silly game, and not something I should expect
to get away with again! Actions (punishment) speaks louder than words
My parents provided me with an excellent childhood and empowered me with an
independent spirit that has always served me well. If anything, I wish they
had been more aware of what I was doing as a child. Mom would say things
like "are you sure you can eat that?" (like she didnt have access to the same
ADA exchange book that I had...) and of course I said yes! To this day,
when I say, for example, "my bg is 123" I can count on a "is that good?"
response from them. I LIED about my urine test results...and of course noone
ever actually wanted to see the strip. if my actual strip said 4+ sugar and
moderate ketones, I could sell a normal blood sugar like nobody you ever
I was TRUSTED with the responsibility of my diabetes, and I am sure they felt
they were doing best by allowing me the control, but I think they might have
given THIS particularly willful and strong minded 10 year old too much
power!! I still needed to be taught right from wrong.
I was pretty much a model child, except for the diabetes, so when I DID do
something wrong, and was punished, it MEANT something. I think that is the
premise behind punishment. Once rules and parameters are set, it is the
parents job to make sure they are upheld, and hopefully the kids will grow up
an intelligent, healthy, contributing member of society, instead of
delinquent losers who whine and complain and want someone else to take care
of their problems.
Hindsight is not always 20/20; my punishment for eating all those ice cream
candy without regard for the consequences is retinopathy - a "spanking" that
my great control for the last 7.5 years can never diminish. I would gladly
trade it for a month of being grounded - hell a year of no phone would not
even bum me out too much at this point...bet I would have learned the lesson
that ice cream bars, without proper carb counting, are not STRONG or RIGHT
choices for me.
If you feel "bad" about punishing your child for something diabetes related,
think how bad my mom must feel when I have to tell her my eye bled again, or
I need more laser.
Anyway, as wayne wrote the other day, they are closer to preventing diabetes
in future generations than they are to curing it...I am happy, but jealous.
You won't have to teach your newly diagnosed children to count carbs and
threaten them with blindness anymore, and life will be a much more edible
bowl of chocolate covered cherries. Parents can concentrate on the evils of
drugs, premarital sex and conservative right wing politics instead of
diabetes, and what a joy I am sure that will be.
Now, as I bolus exactly 2.7 units for my 1/4 cup serving of ben and jerry's,
I silently wish my mom and dad HAD spanked me for those ice cream bars I ate
hiding in my room when I was 12."
Good luck Kevin....We are behnd you!
NYC Sara SP
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