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[IP] welcome to the fray

more about Sara's damn eyes - Long, so skip this if you are as bored with the
subject as me 

Yale wrote:
> This brings up an intersting point - ROUTINE ANNUAL EYE 
> Examinations in diabetics.  So much can be done at the right
> time, and this time should not be missed.  

I don't think you will find anyone on this list who NEEDS to be told this in
CAPITAL LETTERS.  I think the mere fact that we have taken control of our
lives and our diabetes by either requesting or DEMANDING a pump, that we
recognize the importance of the eye exam.  Most of us even know that we ought
to have regular 24 hour urine tests as well, and I bet MOST of us test our
blood more than 6 times a day.  Nothing personal to you Yale, but we don't, or
maybe let me speak for myself, I don't need to be preached to.

> It is very difficult to close the barn door once the cow is out.  

Interesting analogy.  Guess I won't leave the door open in case Bessie wants
to wander back in on her own, cuz god knows, running after her with laser guns
is not always the ultimate solution..

> Any bleeding is too much bleeding, whether it is in the retina or vitreous. 

and the person with the obscured vision whose day to day routine consists
reading itty bitty numbers would certainly know this.

> Strict diabetic control is essential, and you must avoid dietary 
> indiscretions (unless you account for them in your control). 

I saw an eye doctor EVERY year since the first year I developed diabetes (1974
- Dr. William Jackson in Denver - one of the BEST).  I was lasered in one eye
in 1990 BEFORE any bleeding began.  When I did begin bleeding in 1991, it was
the OTHER eye.  After a year of laser, my insurance denied all coverage for my
eyes.  My doctor lasered me several times for practically nothing (but I paid
thru the butt for the part he did charge) for another year until my insurance
company decided to cover me after all (perhaps the fact that it was ILLEGAL
had something to do with it).  Once I had coverage, he did the vitrectomy
(1994).  I switched to a pump in 1993, but no one told me that sometimes the
strict control of the pump WORSENS the bleeding...and in 1995 my other eye
manifested its downward spiral...bleed, clear, laser, bleed, clear, laser.
Even my witch doctor here in NY concurs...her cold little voice saying "well,
Miss Falconer, older patients usually stop bleeding after being lasered as
well as you have been; younger patients such as yourself just bleed and bleed
and bleed."

I KNOW this is a result of many years of non-control, many years of dietary
"indiscretion," but again nothing personal, but _GOD_ that is such a doctorly
thing to say (ok, maybe it is a bit personal) - as a pancreatically challenged
individual yourself, you know there is no such thing anymore - X carbs = X
insulin.  We now take RESPONSIBILITY for our actions and our injestions (as in
what we injest - not a typo for injections)   Saying I have made dietary
indiscretions which led to my eye bleeding is like saying I am non-compliant
when my A1c is 8.4 - perhaps the fact that my appendix ruptured and I had to
undergo emergency surgery...and a barium enema, which caused another bleed in
my eye, after being told I had diverticultis at a different hosptal resulting
in 4 weeks of lost work and unmeasurable amounts of STRESS had something to do
with it.  How compliant am I if I eat ice cream and cheerios for two weeks
while on a stress-free vacation, and end up with a A1c of 6.8??
I suppose since you have never personally experienced the joys and exquisite
bliss that goes along with these delicate black cob webs, the flashers, the
excuciating headaches, iopodine and whats the one with the red cap? that you,
just like other doctors and other people sans PDR, just DON'T understand why I
ask how much bleeding is enough.  You have never whiled away the hours
watching the black swirls in your eyes waft gently as you move your eye and
then have to blush when you notice people are watching you sit there cross
eyed.  I truly hope you and the others NEVER fully understand cuz, to be
blunt, it SUCKS.  

How much bleeding is enough?  tough to answer.  Perhaps I have heard one too
many story of FAILED vitrectomies?  Perhaps I do not yet wish to trade not
being able to see due to big black splotches vs. the way I might see after a
vitrectomy.  Perhaps I can't find a doctor whom I trust with my most valued
sense  who doesnt ask insurance questions first. (Dr. Fisher's
receptionist...1st words outta her mouth-no lie!).

I don't mean to sound like I am personally attacking you, Yale, because I am
NOT.  As others on the list will tell you, I do have an overly antagonistic
attitude towards medical professionals in general and when I feel I am being
preached to, or if I am told I am BBBBAAAAAADDDDDD, then I react, so I am
sorry to have even started this whole thing.  I guess I was hoping perhaps you
HAD had some bleeders, experienced laser...UNDERSTOOD truly what was going on
with your patients, but then I suppose, if you HAD, you might not see well
enough to still be a doctor, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even the
witch doctor..

I guess it is like having kids or a boyfriend/husband and your friends not
understanding why you never have time to go out anymore, or write letters.
Unless you been there...you can't get the t-shirt.

email @ redacted't.see.for.poop.and.has.an.insurance.no.one wants.to.accept
*-(=B xoxx
Insulin-Pumpers website http://www.bizsystems.com/Diabetes/