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[IP] Trigger finger bang, bang...



As I always lurk in the background I say to myself, (ya'll probably saying...
"yeah, right. I see enough of her posts.") I usually read all posts, and love
to learn as it makes me feel not so scared of the unknown and better able to
cope with it.

Okay, so I just turned 49 in October (PTL, not the big 50 yet, my boyfriend
added it up and told me on my last birthday..."Hey, you're only Forte 9"
pronounced fortay. Then I said maybe the 40's will be my strong point which is
one of the meanings of forte in the dictionary. Funny, the other meanings are
a "loud and forceful manner" and forte which is pronounced sounding like the
word fort, means the strong part of a blade in the middle.

So here's me and my middle finger..."Good morning fort, not been feeling too
good lately huh? What in the world have we been doing together where you don't
even feel like getting out of bed? Maybe we need to take it easy for a while.
Fort says to me...."No, I don't feel much better not doing nothing at all."  I
say to Fort; "I know what you mean, I can't stand the thought of being locked
up and not being able to stay active like I have to do to survive. I have got
to use my hands, I need you." So forte and me head for the middle road and
stay active and take it easy too.

So then, one evening talking to my beloved, I tried to show him how I could
hardly make a fist and something popped and my finger was stuck in a trigger
holding position, except with the middle finger. I was in shock and it turns
my gut thinking about it this morning. Went online and looked at it in detail.
One can only get two steroid shots and that is it and if that doesn't do it,
there is the operation and that is no guarantee as with any surgery.

Now, I am thinking...."Will I have to live with this if I can't afford the
operation." I do not have insurance right now. I have been on unemployment and
thinking that I am sooo tired all the time how am I gonna be able to work an 8
hr day and have to commute too.

I have a doctor appt. on the 15th of April and he will tell me to take Aleve
again, since he is more of a health department low income doctor and I am sure
there are none who will be able to do that surgery for me since the doctors
volunteer and it probably has to be a life or death situation before thaey
donate their precious pro bono to patients in need.

Had to get it out...
The diabetic named candy
.
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