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[IP] Psyching myself up to push the button

A little background here . . .

I'm just entering my 3rd year with diabetes, been on the pump since 2 months 
after diagnosis.  I'm probably a LADA since I was 36 when I was diagnosed, 
and have other auto-immune issues.

Since diagnosis my insulin requirements have steadily plummeted.  My ratio 
used to be 1:6, now it is 1:25.  My correction factor which used to be 38 is 
now 112, and my basal daily totals have dropped from 16 units per day to 
less than 5.  Presumably it is honeymooning, but who knows?

Typically I don't go high for things like stress, hormones, colds, but last 
week, all the moons were in alignment.  Jet lag from flying back east for a 
funeral, a cold, and it was "that time of the month".  I could not stay 
under 200.  Part of the problem was psychologically I was having trouble 
giving myself large (for me) correction boluses.  I had a piece of toast and 
coffee for breakfast and by 10 am, had already given myself more insulin 
than I normally take in an entire day (this was after swapping *EVERYTHING* 
out, to rule out bad tubing, insulin, set, meter problems etc.).  Every time 
I would calculate a correction bolus, in the back of my mind I was thinking 
"48 hours ago, the amount of insulin you are about to take would have killed 
you"  It took me longer to convince myself to press the activate button than 
it did to change the set!

Also, my A1c is creeping up.  My last A1c was the highest it's been since I 
went on the pump (5.9) typically I have been between 5.1 and 5.3, with 
almost no lows.  I think it is creeping up because I am concerned about 
overcorrecting and going low.  I know these are good #s, but I know that I 
can do better.

So I'm looking for some advice on how to get over this.  I'm thinking about 
diluting my insulin -- some input on this would be helpful too.



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