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Re: [IP] Re: Who should be doing the work?

> When responsibilities are handed over, even a piece at a time to be
> well-adjusted and able to function well when you're suddenly *growed up*
> makes a better adult. <snip>
> I'm not saying parents shouldn't do anything for their children and age
> certainly is a factor as well as the emotional maturity, but it should
> certainly be tempered with allowing the freedom of doing/learning.

I, also, didn't get enough responsibility as I was growing up.  I got some,
but not enough.  It is a cruel world when all those responsibilities fall to
you all at once.  You're just not ready to shoulder them, because you
haven't had the practice.

My husband says it is crippling for a parent to do for the child what he can
do for himself.  Because that is true, many times I will wait for my son to
do the chore *he* is capable of doing, when I'd really rather do it myself.

But there are occasions, too, when it isn't crippling at all, but rather
freeing, for the child to know that mom understands.  Sometimes a child
needs a break from a big responsibility or two, and the most loving thing in
the world is for mom (or dad) to say, "Just this time, I'll do it for you."

As with almost anything, it requires balance, and it is a rare parent who
has the wisdom to know, on every occasion, which way to address the child's
responsibilities.  So, unfortunately, every parent here makes mistakes in
the balancing act.  Some fall more to one extreme, while others fall on the
other.  It is inevitable.

Good luck, parents of diabetic children and teens, finding that perfect
balance with your offspring.

dxd 1985, pumping since 1990
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