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[IP] Re: Who should be doing the work?

>>>Right now this mom does anything and everything she can to help her VERY
capable son with his diabetes (and ALL) stuff, because someday he will HAVE
to do it for himself!!!!>>>

BTDT. And that was my mom's theory - she did it *all* for me cuz one day I'd
have to do it all myself. She gave me my daily shot until I was 18 when her
hand was in a cast so I had to take over. I can count on less than one
finger the times I was required to clean up the kitchen or do dishes. She
even interrupted her laundry (wringer washer with rinse tubs and
clothesline) to peel and slice this teen a peach and pour milk on it. I
should have been required to help do the laundry - at least peel my own
peach! She prided herself on *waiting on her kids.* (Bro married/divorced
4x - 9 kids.)

I was devestated when by our 2nd anniversary I had 2 babies 10 mos. and 14
days apart - no help and allllll those dishes and diapers (6 doz.) to do. We
3 cried everyday for 3 mos. until I could get out of the house selling
Tupperware. People do not realize how hard it is to *get into a groove* and
take on responsibility when as a child you haven't experienced "Train up a
child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from
it." When responsibilities are handed over, even a piece at a time to be
well-adjusted and able to function well when you're suddenly *growed up* it
makes a better adult.

Part of the *way he should go* is to *be* responsible and *taught*
responsibility. I compare it to a teen DMer whose mom is on IP saying: "Even
the most well-intentioned family member can't truly understand what it means
to live with diabetes day in and day out." ~ Melissa  If someone has been
trained they don't understand the untrained, the untrained do not understand
the trained. We all have stories of our childhoods and some of the future
IPers are experiencing their stories now to tell later. <g>

I'm not saying parents shouldn't do anything for their children and age
certainly is a factor as well as the emotional maturity, but it should
certainly be tempered with allowing the freedom of doing/learning. I see
other emotional cripples functioning in society. Watch Dr. Phil or listen to
Dr. Laura. <S>

Bring the flames - I have my fireproof suit on.

Jan (63 y/o, dx'd T-1 11/5/50, pmpg 8/23/83) & Bluda Sue (MM507C 3/99)
Dialyzing since 7/8/02 http://maxpages.com/bludasue  AND
http://www.picturetrail.com/dmBASHpics (and EVOLUTION OF
INSULIN PUMPS with World's Youngest Pumper)

What the future has in store for you depends largely on what you place in
store for the future. ~ Leslie A. Brown

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