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[IP] Re: Hating Diabetes

In retrospect, I can relate to hating this disease, maybe time and old age 
:-) have helped me along the way.  I was diagnosed at age 18, after a trauma, 
and I was mad and really hated this disease.  I hated it so much I started to 
act as if I didn't have it and wound up in the ER via ambulance DKA and spent 
a few days in ICU before it looked like I would survive.  After that 
experience, I only 'half' accpected this dieseas, I did just enough to take 
care of it so that I could function, keeping sugars between 200 and 300.  
Then when I got married and shortly after that, pregnant, I fully had to 
accept this horrible disease.  I've been pumping for just about a year now, 
and considering what life was like before compared to now, I'm just so glad 
to have this new found freedom that was taken away from me so long ago, that 
I have more hope today than I did a year ago.  When I had retinopothy and 
surgery, I was mad and depressed again, like why couldn't I have gotten on 
the pump sooner feeling.  Now that my eye sight is back, I'm back to being 
grateful for the advances in medicine again.  I go back and forth with 
resentment and gratitude with this diesease, it really is like a roller 
I also have to say that the few times I've tried to read list or message 
boards pertaining to diabetes, I had to quit because it was depressing, it 
was all doom and gloom and punishing type statements.  This is the first list 
I've belonged to where I feel like I'm connected to real people with real 
diabetes with real lives.  I don't feel like I'll get a scolding when I say 
my last A1C went from 7.5 to 7.7.  First time it's gone up since I've been on 
the pump.  I really do believe it's because my sugars were getting really 
high and out of control for about 2 weeks after the surgery.  I think some 
well intentioned hubby or doc pushed the wrong buttons on my pump and messed 
up my basils.  They are back on track now, except for mornings.  Time to do 
the getting up every 2 hours to check again, I really do hate that part.  
Then when I fine tune it, it seems to need to be changed in 2 - 6 weeks 
Anyway, I've gotten off track here, I want to thank everyone on this list for 
being so open and honest about their feelings and thier diabetes, and for 
being real, and I love the senses of humor found on this list, I really do.
PS:  About changing that lancet, too funny, thought I was the only one that 
re-used the same one for more than a couple of months.  Also had a doc tell 
me that taking my shot through my jeans was better than skipping it 
altogether, that worked well for me too.
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