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[IP] Hypos: "Just Wanting to Die"

I had never really had any bad hypos in fifteen years of being diabetic until I first started
on Humalog about a year and half ago.  (Of course, I'd been running in the 200's for a few
years,  making no adjustments to my insulin or ever testing my bg's--basically just injecting
and forgetting about it (fell off the wagon I guess you could say). So my new endo at that
time, Dr. Charm, was trying to help get me regulated. I was convinced Humalog was the work of
the devil, but I also wanted to make a change with my life and be more responsible for
managing this disease. It was the first time I ever experienced the kind of wicked, falling
down hypos that seem to come out of nowhere.
A few incidents come to mind.  One I had scared my husband to death.  We'd been married
almost five years and this was the first time he'd really seen anything like this. He'd seen
me low of course.  A few times I'd say, "I'm low, Micheal.  Will you go get me some candy?"
He'd seen me act tired or stop an activity to get some candy or juice.  Or say we needed to
have dinner early, things like that. I'm not sure he knew how bad it could get.
One evening I decided to take a nap before dinner.  When he came in to wake me up, I was
semi-conscious.  He couldn't get me to answer him or make any sense.  I'd told him about
glucagon, but in his panic he didn't know what to do at all.  He tried to get me to drink
juice but I refused to do it. His father had recently had a stroke and my slurred speech and
strange movements had him sure that's what was wrong with me. Finally he called my mother and
held the phone up to my ear.  She says I kept saying, "Mommy... Mommy... Am I going to die?"
I don't remember that. Finally I did drink juice apparently.  He kept feeding me juice and
Hershey bars until I made sense again, so of course I had a massive high later, too.
I had one or two more such incidents before I started pumping. I just could not get humalog
right on injections. I had to live with the guilt of my husband being afraid to sleep at
night.  He would wake up every time I moved, and I could feel him watching me sometimes when
I slept.
Then I started pumping and everything was going well.  A few months later with my pregnancy,
I again had a scary low like the first one where I was incoherent. I wouldn't stop crying
because I thought I had killed the baby. This fun-filled incident led to my first and only
meeting with the firefighters who answer 911 calls.
I never want to have one of those again.  I hate the helplessness and I hate putting someone
else through that.
Hypos are definitely the thing I hate most about having Diabetes.

Sherry C
>From the massive city of Bowling Green
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