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[IP] Mom's reaction about Sherry's pregnancy

Sherry Comptom wrote (in part):
>>>Am I supposed to feel guilty now for making my mom worry so much over this
"against advice pregnancy"?  How was I supposed to know she'd been laboring
under this idea all these years?  How many people has she told that I couldn't
have children??  How come no one ever told me??? >>>

My mind is flooded with thoughts at this, and I'll try to sort them out to
make some semblance of sense.

A) When my endo suggested I go on a pump (guinea pig years - '82) I told him
it wasn't for me. He said I was just the type of DMer they were for. I asked
Mom why I thought that; she said the dr. who dx'd me told us nothing would
ever help me. That dr. was wrong. Thanks to my endo, he gave me hope - perhaps
another dr. who wasn't interested in pumps would have never given me hope -
keeping me in my *death by 35* mindset. It was reversed. You had no control
over the *advice* the dr. or anyone gave your mom.

B) YOU have nothing to do with your mom's guilt feelings. You are pg - even
though accidental - and many, many, many of us have been and had successful
deliveries. You will see that instead, you will make your mom proud of you.
Just watch her cuddle that babyzilla!

C) You could not know she was laboring (pardon the pun) under this idea all
these years. We never know what's in someone else's mind. As a kid, I *KNEW*
ladies' heels went into the high heels of their shoes  -
I didn't need to ask because I knew it. My hugsband knew ladies' legs went all
the way up to their necks - he didn't have to ask because he knew it. A
neighborman thought ladies' legs ended at their hemline. He didn't have to
ask, because he knew it. I'll bet there are lots of other stupid
thoughts/assumptions on this list and with a tad of education we learn the
truth. Your mom is learning the truth through YOU. Don't be guilty, be proud!

D) If your sil is jealous of you having the firstborn g'baby, she'll get over
it - if not, that's HER problem. There's isn't one thing she can do about it.
I was *looked down on* for having a girl first, then a boy. "Everyone else has
a boy first." (HA!)  We can't control or change others' views - just do our
best for what we have and what we know.

E) How many people has she told over these years that you couldn't have
children? Who knows? Who cares? They will all see you CAN have children. How
many people have drs told that pumps do not work - or worse yet (and I've
heard this) pumps KILL people! They are wrong, too. One thing stressed on this
list is dispelling rumors and false *facts* about DM. You are a walking
(bulging) teacher. ;)  IF you are the subject of *over-the-fence* talk that
you couldn't/shouldn't have children, then, like Darrin, you will be proof
that it is possible. Of course, his is that pumps DO work. ;)  We don't know
how many friends/relatives/others that the ones who will hear about *you* that
this will help. I heard MANY stories as a kid about *my aunt had DM, she had
both legs cut off but she's dead now.* I'd rather be the success story they
are talking about. That's you in this case!

F) How come no one ever told you?  Why should they? They didn't want to worry
you and leave you with hope. I would have rather have lived with hope than
with my *death sentence* I had been led to believe. If they had told you,
would that have prevented this pregnancy? What would it have changed? They
didn't tell you (for which *I* think you should be grateful - but I don't
count) and you are pregnant and pretty soon you'll be attending graduation for
Teen-zilla! Probably with other zillas accompanying you. They were wrong. You
are pg. You are going to be successful.

This is my 15c worth. Just chalk all these feelings up to pg hormones. The
best to you, dear. And keep us updated. We care! (~_^)

Jan (61 y/o, T-1 11/5/50, pmpg 8/23/83) & Bluda Sue (MM507C 3/99)
http://maxpages.com/bludasue AND http://www.picturetrail.com/dmBASHpics
(including an album of the EVOLUTION OF PUMPS)
A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
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