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[IP] Feelings are important (at least to me)

On Saturday I asked my dad how he "survived" all that went on while I was 
growing up.  I could hear his voice change (tension/feelings?) and he 
quietly said "I don't know" and the subject changed....

By the time I was diagnosed in 1965, my parents had been through more than 
many people have to deal with in a lifetime. And it seems that their way of 
surviving was to not talk about it...

When accident/illness happens medicine can "fix it" - my parents found that 
wasn't always the case...

The oldest of my 2 sisters was born with a congenital heart problem and had 
open heart surgery in the early 60s - pushing the envelope at that 
time...  She died of congestive heart failure at the age of 10 after ? 
years of actively looking for the "solution"...

A couple years later my other sister had a major hand injury caused by a 
"kid's ride". (was in the legal system for at least 7 years)..

Next was my dx at the age of 15.  I understand that my mom was there the 48 
hours that I was in critical condition (coma) though I don't remember it... 
When I was out of danger she went home and came back for the very short 
visiting period....

Basically I was old enough to "do diabetes" myself.  I was provided with 
the things I needed but "feelings about it were not discussed"...

And for all of these (and more), I have only gotten "momentary glimpses" of 
what my parents felt... But none of it was talked about..

Finding places to "fill my emotional and spiritual black holes" have done 
more to enable me to survive than all the treatment methods and tools that 
exist - I use the tools, but no longer unrealistically believing that "it" 
can fix the "diabetes universe"...

And when I react with anger, it is usually more about me than the 
person/place/thing that I am focusing the anger at...

Jim S.
email @ redacted
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