[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
[Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

[IP] DX stories

I've told this one frequently, so I'm not going into all the gory
details, but suffice it to say that my grandmother, two aunts and an
uncle had diabetes, all diagnosed around the age of 40. At that time,
anyone who wasn't a child when diagnosed was diagnosed with NIDDM, and
my family all believed it was related to obesity, in spite of the fact
that this was clearly not so in my own family. 

So I was RAISED with "Natalie, don't eat that, you'll get fat and you'll
get diabetes!" PLUS my father was a dentist and we were not allowed
sweets at all during childhood. 

So I got into my 20's and 30's with a real chip on my shoulder -- I'm
gonna eat whatever I want and as much as I want, and no one's telling me
any different!

Then, when I started having high BGs (mine was a relatively gradual
onset -- faster than Type 2, slower than Type 1), and I was sent to the
diabetes center at the age of 43 to get a BG meter, all I could do was
cry and listen to the voices saying, "I told you so!!!!!".

I have since discovered that MY diabetes is NOT obesity related NIDDM
(nor is it classical onset IDDM), and I would have developed it
regardless, although I WAS overweight when diagnosed.

At this point, I'm down to 138 lb. which is BMI 24.5 -- clearly under
the cutoff for normal weight, and guess what, I STILL have diabetes. I
struggle daily with feelings of guilt and although I know,
intellectually, that I DON'T fit into the obesity classification --
there is still a little voice inside me that tells me that it'll go away
if I lose weight -- and then when I DID/DO lose weight, and it doesn't
go away, I feel very betrayed. I lost 31 lb., which is over 18% of body
weight -- if it had been obesity-related, I should have seen an
improvement, and should theoretically have been able to go off insulin,
but if I try (and I do, occasionally), my BGs go up almost immediately.  

I guess I'm telling you this, because as parents, you have to be very
careful about what you do with, and tell a child -- even though you
believe you're doing it for the child's own good (as my family most
surely did), it might backfire and cause a lot of problems. Raising
children is never black-and-white -- it's shades of grey and REALLY hard
when you can't tell what's going on in the child's mind. You do the very
best you can, but never fool yourself by assuming you're doing it
perfectly -- no one has ever done that!!!!

Anyway, I forgive my family for that -- I appreciate that they said it
because they LOVED me dearly, and wanted to spare me the grief of
diabetes, but it's still a struggle, and I don't know if I'll ever truly
conquer it -- all I can do is work at it and struggle to ACCEPT life as
it is, and not as I wish it might have been! 
 ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- 
 Natalie A. Sera, with all her ducks in a row!
 Type Weird, pumping!
 mailto:email @ redacted
 ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-._c- ._c- ._(` ._c- ._c- 
 Can YOU find the ugly duckling? (Hint: it ain't the pumperduck!)
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml