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[IP] "ENTITLEMENT" and "special treatment" or something else
Are we talking about actions here or is it really about feelings that have
not had an opportunity to be expressed?
I have done and said things with much more energy (anger&&&) than was
appropriate in the situation... Not because of the situation itself but
because of feelings I had either denied or not dealt with - the "infected
feelings festered into a massive sore" that burst over people who didn't
deserve what I gave them...
A lot of those feelings were around the diabetes - emotional pain, fear and
We talk about the mechanics of diabetes and then in the same breath say
we're all different so it may not work.
What is similar with all of us are the feelings. The difficult thing is
that the feelings can't be "fixed". They are either avoided or worked
through and both methods can be painful - especially when we think no one
else knows what we are feeling.
And unless we feel safe to talk about the feelings we'll never know how
universal the emotions are and how supportive it is knowing others are
going through similar things.
The minute I start saying "you don't understand" or "it's the fault of
_____" is when I close the door to possibly learning a little more about
myself - though it may be more painful than I would consciously choose...
No matter how much I want to believe that I can control diabetes, it will:
intrude in activities, demand my attention when I don't want to think about
it, have me "running scared", have me looking for better treatments, cause
me pain - physical and emotional, be diabetes......
When I can remember that I am doing the best that I can and diabetes may
still "have its way with my body" is when I begin to find peace....
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