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[IP] Always good to have a laugh



 I figure we all have bad days but this guy realy had a bad day ..:-) thought 
we could all use a laugh lighten things up :-) Julie P.
><< BAD DAY
>
>  NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU HAVE HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK, THINK ABOUT THIS GUY.
>ROB IS A COMMERCIAL SATURATION DIVER FOR GLOBAL DIVERS OUT OF LOUISIANA AND
>PERFORMS UNDERWATER REPAIRS ON OFFSHORE DRILLING RIGS.  BELOW IS AN  E-MAIL
>HE SENT TO HIS SISTER. SHE IN-TURN SENT IT TO LAUGHLINE AND WON THE 
>CONTEST.
>(ROB WASN'T THRILLED WITH HER FOR DOING THIS.)
>
>   APRIL 1998
>
>  Hi Sue,
>   Just another note from you bottom dwelling brother.  Last week I had a 
>bad
>   day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
>   thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not 
>so
>   bad after all.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
>   bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office 
>lies
>at
>   the bottom of the sea.  I wear a suit to the office.  It's a wetsuit.  
>This
>   time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is 
>this:
>We
>   have a diesel powered industrial water heater.  This $20,000 piece of 
>shit
>   sucks the water out of the sea.  It heats it to a delightful 
>temperature.
>   It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose which is taped 
>to
>   the air hose.  Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it
>   several times with no complaints.  What I do, when I get to the bottom 
>and
>   start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my neck.
>   This floods my whole suit with warm water.  It's like working in a
>   jacuzzi.
>
>   Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch.
>   So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse.  Within a 
>few
>   seconds my ass started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but
>   the damage was done.  In agony I realized what had happened.  The hot 
>water
>   machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.  This is
>   even worse than the poison ivy you once had under a cast.  Now I had 
>that
>hose
>   down my back.  I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish 
>couldn't
>   get stuck to my back.  My ass crack was not as fortunate.  When I
>   scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the 
>jellyfish
>into my
>   ass.
>   I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.  His
>   instructions were unclear due to the fact that he along with 5 other
>   divers were laughing hysterically.  Needless to say I aborted the dive.  
>I
>was
>   instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling 35
>   minutes before I could come to the surface for my chamber dry
>   decompression. I got to the surface wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>My suit
>   and gear were tied to the bell.  When I got onboard, the medic, with 
>tears
>of
>   laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to
>   shove it "up my ass" when I get in the chamber.  The cream put the fire
>   out, but I couldn't shit for 2 days because my asshole was swollen shut. 
>  I
>   later found out that this could easily have been prevented if the 
>suction
>hose
>   was placed on the leeward side of the ship.
>   Anyway, the next time you have a bad day at the office, think of me.
>   Think about how much worse your day would be if you were to shove a
>jellyfish up
>   your ass.  I hope you have no bad days at the office.  But if you do, I
>   hope this will make it more tolerable.
>   >>

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