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[IP] single and diabetic

Dear Daniel....

Having ALWAYS been single with diabetes, I don't know how to really answer 
your questions...on the other hand, when it comes to mental health...well now 
there is a subject I can address from the INSIDE...heh heh

I must say that your fear of living alone is one I still face even after 
being out of my parents control since I was 18.  I wonder if I fall out of my 
life in the middle of the night with a low, who will EVER find me...my 
oblivious male roommates would never know until the first of the month when 
rent is due, or when the bathroom drain isn't emptied, since I am the only 
one capable of doing it.  My boss would notice, but he might think I am just 
running late, which is a normal thing...and he would have no idea to get a 
hold of my roommates....who wouldn't be home anyway...

see my problem?

I guess if I told my mom, she would make it a habit to call every 
morning...she does seem to get some sadistic pleasure out of waking me 
up...Then there is all the traveling I do...most of it solo...what if I get 
hurt or in trouble and can't speak for myself or fend off the prying medical 

>   how do you get into a relationship with someone when 
> you know that you might be a real burden on them someday

MY question is how do you get into a relationship at ALL...up until this past 
week, I would have boldly told you to not be shy about it...if it bugs the 
other person then they are not right for you...however, having just lost a 
potential prospect to having explained what my medic alert was....I'd have to 
say I am having second thoughts about my heretofore assertiveness...

Diabetes is NOT the worst thing, true, but dialysis and blindness are truly 
horrible I can only imagine.  It really sucks to have to look at a guy and 
wonder what kind of insurace he has...Does he have a fun job that would 
interest me when he talks and talks about it for hours on end, or a good job 
that bores me to tears to hear about it, but pays enough and has good 
benefits to support my "habits"

>  diabetes is no cake walk 

pun intended I am sure...and I wonder if I will ever walk down on an aisle 
with a fancy white cake at the end of it...boy I would LOVE to have to worry 
about where in the hell I am gonna put the pump in the dress I have planned!!!

> strain on everyone especially the people that 
>  are married to a diabetic.

or the parents, or the boss I would assume as well, but you are right, spouse 
would hopefully be the closest person...we are talking some serious love and 
support aren't we.  geez, and I thought I was depressed before...

>  Its very frustrating to have to explain to people that you are 
> a diabetic and then answer all the questions that come up.

I usually just do it...if they look confused or curious I explain...give them 
diabetes 101, show them the pump, and just smile and ask if they are having 
dessert...and I had never really thought about it...all of the guys I have 
dated, have seemed COOL about it, the pump, the testing, my bad vision, but 
now in retrospect, I wonder how many I have lost due to this...especially 
with this recent wound. (mary jean if you are reading...this is the one I was 
telling ya about...sigh)

> I would like to find another diabetic to talk to who has 
>  struggled with the same problem.

In July of last year, a similar question was posed.  Someone said "dating 
"normal" people can be very difficult." and I wrote back:

"Especially if you are a heterosexual woman and like to date men...god knows 
expression "normal" is an oxymoron when you are referring to MEN!!  Whether 
they have diabetes or couch potatoitis, or 
don't-bug-me-during-the-Knicksopathy, or Commitment-phrenia or workaholism, 
they are just strange, unfigure-outable creatures put on this earth to 
torment us!!!  

I think diabetes is just another "dimension," another challenge to make us 
ask "do we want to pro-ceate?"

can you imagine...some couples bond over the birth of their child, getting 
that married tax credit and other such "normal" things - they fight over 
remote controls and what kind of car to buy and her mother.  Two diabetics 
would bond over having simultaneous Lows following headboard-banging, 
site-ripping-out sex...they don't just share feelings - they also share dex 
tabs and syringes!!!  "Oh honey, I got a no-delivery, can I borrow your pump 
for a quick bolus????"  "oh that is all you love me for...my ever ready 
insulin supply!!"   Their arguments would be why Ben and Jerry's screws her 
bg up no matter how much she boluses, but he can take 4 units and be fine;  
They'd bicker on what infusion sets are better cuz he can't use the tender 
cuz he is too skinny.  if he isn't impotent and she gets the gren light from 
the endo and they DO have kids, the biggest celebration won't be the high 
school graduation, it'll be graduating diabetes-free!"

so Dan...where DO you live?  LOL

*-)=B xoxx~~~~[507]
dxed 4/74, pumping since 2/93
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