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[IP] To Charisma (long one)
I started to reply to you personally, but I have learned that sharing
feelings in this group is safe and that there are usually several people
who feel the way you, and sometimes I, do, no matter what the issue. I
know exactly how you feel and a letter to the AMA would be appropriate.
Damn it, I hate that type of stereotying!! As an older, overweight (all
my life) female, I always get the same treatment from people and specially
medical professionals who ASSUME that I am type II. I fit the pattern
perfectly. Even after I tell them I am type 1, they are kind of skeptical.
When I was diagnosed at the age of 44 there was no doubt with the doctors
in the emergency room where I arrived with BG of 1208 and DKA in full bloom
- resulting from a nasty viral infection 6 weeks earlier. At the time I
was walking 4 miles a day, eating mostly like a vegatarian, and while I was
still "stout" as people used to say in the old days, I was not "common or
sedentary", I was definately older . I would get so mad over the
assumption that I caused my diabetes! It still infuriates me when those
looks come my way, particularly if I am in the middle of eating something.
And when someone says something like, "I won't tempt you with this
because I know you are not supposed to eat sweets", I will grab a piece and
eat it out of spite! (I know that is stupid - my "rebel" heart just goes
into a tailspin when someone says "you can't").
To me, it doesn't matter whether a person is 1 or 2, because diabetes is a
major killer of people. I don't know how we can overcome these stupid
statement of both medical and civilian folks, except by education.
My daughter has clinical depression (Rx'd 6 years ago) and for several
years until she really hit bottom and scared the hell out of me, I was
essentially telling her to pick herself up by her bootstraps and Snap out
of it. Now I know how stupid that was of me. She really couldn't "snap
out of it". I had to be educated about the chemical imbalances in the
brain. You sound like you are doing remarkably well. I am not sure I
would be able to do as well. I am in awe of her because she is also a
recovering cocaine addict (15 years clean in July) and is now back in
college to finish her degree - she has gone one whole year now non stop for
the first time ever - the light is at the end of the tunnel. What
strength she has. And I can't even resist a cookie when someone makes me
I see the same strength in you. I am not particularly religious, but I do
believe in God and I think he picks the special people like you and like my
daughter, and some others on this list, to go through so many difficulties
because you will share your problems with others and help others in doing
so. You have a story and your story may help others and by helping others
you help yourself. Don't let ignorance of others affect your good
feelings about yourself. I know that is easier said than done...but we
will work on it together, OK?
I have not exactly walked in your shoes, but I have some knowledge about
your feelings. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will shine
green (healing) light all over you so that you will maybe feel a bit better
and go on for one more day.
Hang in there, Charisma
With love to you...
For me, it is because of statements like this, copied straight from the
"A disorder.....It is the most common form of the disease. Type 2 diabetes
accounts for 90-95 percent of diabetes. Type 2 diabetes is nearing epidemic
proportions, due to an increased number of older Americans, and a greater
prevalence of obesity and a sedentary lifestyle. "
Here are the words that stand out to me....
older (I do not personally find this offensive, but I know some folks are
sensitive to being termed "elderly " or old)
How can anyone feel as if they are not to blame when statements such as
are the ones used to describe Type II. While, on the flip side we have
" An autoimmune disease in which the body does not produce any insulin,
often occurring in children and young adults. People with type 1 diabetes
must take daily insulin injections to stay alive. "
Whereas Type II was a disorder (form of the disease), Type I is strictly a
disease. Which sounds less like your fault? Disease does to me. Disorder
always carries the connotation(to me anyhow) of something I deserve for
living a slothenly lifestyle, or doing something stupid.
Type I "requires...to stay alive" Now how much further form your fault can
THAT be? But Type II has to use diet and exercise to control it.
I am really concerned about this right now as I am having bg of 60-159 when
I test myself(non-diabetic). Today I have been doing a gluc tolerance
test(self-run) and hit 177 at half hour , 194 at 1 hour. That is as far as
I am right now.
(here is the part about which I ask you to forgive me)
I keep thinking "if I have diabetes, please let it be Type I ." STUPID
and insulting probably to those of you who HAVE Type I or II, but I can't
stand another thing that is "my fault" in this life. I have Bipolar that
a mental disorder and we all know how folks feel about those. Then I have
Crohn's which, while not my "fault" is looked upon as such.
I am overweight and any back or stomach problem is automatically filed
the heading of a person's fault if they are overweight(by some other
people). I am told repeatedly to "pull myself up by my bootstraps"
(bipolar) and to lose some weight and eat more healthfully. I have lost
from 350+ to 224, and do Yoga every day. And I have learned to control my
Bipolar with meds and techniques as much as possible.
Even my Mom crawls up one side and down the other of my Dad for not "taking
care of" his Type II. Take walks, eat right and it will go away.
So I am discouraged that Type II seems to be the way I am heading. Cause
for ONCE I would like to have people on my side about my health, rather
always looking for ways to BLAME me!
Charisma (feeling sorry for myself)
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