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[IP] About Everything & All Of You!

I am sorry, this is probably going to be long, but I can't help it.
Those of you who have been reading my postings for the past while know
that Erica is a 10 yr old girl, and after almost a year from our first
inquiry, we were successful in acquiring a 5 month test period for the
MM pump.  She has been doing FANTASTIC!

This is not about how wonderful Erica is doing.  We knew coming into
pumping that our life would change.  Taking needles was rather simple,
but we could never get control that we wanted and after reading about
the DCCT, every HA1C we saw was like a knife in our side.  That is when
we found out about the pump.  I cried for hours when we finally got the
go ahead, it has been an emotional month+.  In the past month, we have
had sleepless nights testing blood sugars and trying to set basals.  I
have had to do a middle of the night change..another sleepless night,
and one night Erica forgot to bolus for a bedtime snack and we were up
ALL night trying to bring her down gradually.  Thankfully for Erica, she
slept through almost all of it.    I have to admit, in my state of sleep
deprivation (I was also sick with a cold) I muttered to myself about
what a pain it was.  THEN, the next day, when I saw those beautiful
sugars again and had managed to get in a nap while the kids were at
school, I was right back to being on my high.  Part of being human I

Yesterday afternoon I looked back at some logbooks, pre-pump, and they
slapped me in the face.  After only a month of pumping it was so easy to
forget how awful things were on traditional therapy.  Having sugars in
the 'zone' was now commonplace, the highs were the exception, and easy
to correct.  And I was complaining?  I will never throw that book
away...never!!  It will always be a wakeup call to me.

The thing that really made me want to express myself today is the
postings on this site.  There are many different types of expressions,
from fear, to excitement, to sorrow, to anger.  All legitimate and all
enlightening.  There are many different types of individuals on this
list and by their nature, things are expressed in different ways.  If I
find something that makes me feel uncomfortable, I choose to not read
it.  However, reading about the trials and tribulations people are going
through is very difficult, as a parent of a child diabetic.  BUT, it is
another wakeup call.  A very important one.  I am humbled sometimes by
what some of you have gone through, fizzy tablets and all, and it gives
me hope.  To see how much things have changed!  To think how much they
can still change!  Reading about the complications that some of you are
living with and thinking,, but Erica has a pump and great #'s, surely it
will make a difference.  Perhaps she will not end up with the bleeding
eyes, or digestion problems, or kidney complications.  Others I have
never even heard of before! My husband and I drag our behinds off the
bed in the middle of the night to double check...is she okay.  Reading
about the fears people have about going to sleep makes me glad that I am
the one worrying about Erica going low while sleeping, and not her.
Thankfully we can take the responsibility for that for a good many years
to come yet.  Plus....I decided I will not ever let her leave home!!LOL
I thank you for letting us in on your feelings.  It sure puts things
into perspective.

Now I can see why so many people were so supportive in their posts to us
encouraging us NOT to give up.  Keep fighting!!  Those people had either
encountered the euphoria of seeing their child blossom after being on
the pump, were just enjoying the benefits it gave them, or, as an adult
were hoping to prevent or diminish complications in one more person.
Thankfully, it seems the pump is an asset to everyone and of that I am
glad. I am humbled by what I read here.  I will try not to complain
again (too much :-} )about being tired because we put a site in too deep
and had to make a change. That is so trivial when you look at the full
scope of diabetes.   Erica has a great chance at a complication free
lifestyle.  And, I am glad that many of you are benefitting from
reductions in complications.

Thank you ALL, everyone one of you!!  You don't have to be directing a
post to me, or answering OUR questions to have an impact on what we do.
We learn from ALL of it.  And as I said earlier, we are all individuals
and express ourselves differently, this is MY expression to you.
Thank you,

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