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Thu Apr 16 18:00:13 1998
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From: "Laurel & Wayne Sedgwick" <email @ redacted>
To: <email @ redacted>, <email @ redacted>
Subject: OVERWHELMED! (long)
Date: Thu, 16 Apr 1998 18:56:38 -0500
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Lurker Laurel here.

First, I want to thank everyone who wrote with support for my insurance
problem.  I'm the one with the insurance company that only wanted to
approve the pump for one month.  

I'm happy to report that my endo went to bat for me, and the company seems
to have backed down on their idiotic stance, and is now promising to give
me at least  3 months.  Also, the Minimed pump rep (Mike Thomas) claims
that my particular insurance company has never ultimately denied a pump.

My CDE won't be back until Monday, and I have to see the dietician before
tje CDE is allowed to train me, so I may wait until Monday to call Minimed
back to tell them I am ready for them to ship my pump.  
I figured I could do my homework in the meantime, and have been reading
"Pumping Insulin."

But, oh my gosh, I'm feeling really overwhelmed by all the stuff the book
is saying I must do to be a "good pumper"!  Really, REALLY overwhelmed!  In
particular, the extent of food weighing they recommend!  We're in a
financial crunch at the moment, and I'm not even sure how I'm going to
manage paying to see the out-of-plan CDE, much less buying a digital gram
scale to the tune of $50-$200.  I am also so overstressed by the rest of
life (our financial situation, both of us working full time while we also
take classes to try to shift career gears, etc.) that I do not see any way
I can possibly do all of the things that (apparently) will be required of

How realistic is the book in this regard?

I'm also very worried about the fasting tests to determine day basal rates.
 I have severe acid stomach, for which I take Prilosec daily, and I know
that if I have to go without food for very long during my waking hours, I
will be positively miserable and non-functional for work.  I actually look
forward to not having to eat at times when I am not hungry (which does
happen, though infrequently), but that will not necessarily be the case
if/when I am required to fast.  Has anyone else found this a problem? 
Isn't there any other way to figure out the day basals?

I guess now that it appears that I am actually going to get a pump, I'm
kinda freaking out, too.  Did many of you who felt a lot of trepidation
about being constantly attached to something, getting skin infections,
etc., find that most of your fears were not realized?  I am very excited
about finally being able to start pumping and hopefully get my erratic BGs
into better control and enjoy a more flexible lifestyle, but I'm also
really scared.  Will I be able to do it?  Will the members of my health
team think I'm a "bad" diabetic or a "bad" pumper?

For the last three days, I have been keeping a detailed food log, which my
CDE told me would be needed for the visit to the dietician.  I'm being
honest, and I'm ashamed of what I've had to write down.  Yesterday was
probably the single busiest day of my work year (I work in University
support services; and, with graduation nearing, I've had to organize
multiple special events on top of my regular work), and when I am under
stress, I have little resistance to foods that I know are not good for me
or my BGs, but represent emotional comfort.  There is too much sugar, fat,
and alcohol.  I'm afraid the dietician is going to yell at me, or deem me
so non-compliant that I am an unworthy pump candidate.

Okay, I'll stop now.  Thanks for letting me vent.  I sure do appreciate
being able to read the posts to this list.  And I will welcome any comments
you might have.

Since it's been some time since I posted my intro, I'll add FYI that I've
been Type 1 for 23 years and on MI (NPH & Humalog) for at least 10 years. 
Last A1c was 8.3.  BGs have never really been stable, though I test a lot
and do try hard.  I do my best to compensate for high BGs and dietary
indiscretions by taking appropriate amonts of insulin.  Have also had very
erratic morning BGs, even when I'm doing "all the right things."  Also have
had clinical depression since childhood, and expect to be on
anti-depressants for as long as I'm on insulin!  I'm 40, went through a
hellish divorce 5 years ago, recently remarried.  Undeservedly lucky enough
to have no confirmed complications (though the stomach is questionable).

I really appreciate this list.


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